IN SEARCH OF SQUID

In Search of Squid Has Moved

2010-02-16T21:34:00.000-08:00

To My Awesome Readers,

Finally, finally, finally -- The In Search of Squid Website has relaunched! Come check out the new website at:

www.insearchofsquid.com

Please, be sure to change all bookmarks, links and "favorites" to reflect the new URL.

I'm so excited to share the new site with you!!

xoxo,
Heather Rae

A Quick Update

2010-02-12T07:00:00.000-08:00

You may have noticed that since I quit my job, I have actually been posting LESS to my blog. Or, perhaps, I think rather highly of myself, and in reality, you haven't even realized this fact.

But I've noticed. And it's bugging me.

So I thought I would check in, and give you an update of what's been going on. I've been working. I just haven't been writing as much as I would like. I have, however, been putting in hours in this rather crazy attempt to redesign my blog. It's been a fun project; I'm learning SO much. I just didn't realize exactly how much time it would take to redesign my blog and move my site to another platform. This weekend (today included) I'm entering what I fondly call the "Blog Redesign Marathon". I am determined to get this thing done by Sunday night.

Come Monday morning, I'm going to have a fabulous new place for you to visit -- a new site, a new community in which to search for squid. Yay! I can't wait to share it with you. Until then, I hope you'll be patient with me and my lack of posting all those random thoughts that (I hope) entertain and sometimes inspire.

Have a great weekend, everyone!

20 Things in 2010

2010-02-08T12:02:00.000-08:00

January is over. The month for making resolutions, themes and goals for the year is thus complete. But wait! I'm not done daydreaming.

If any of you are like me, if you want to keep planning and scheming and dreaming up your adventures for the coming year, then I encourage you to do just that. It's not too late to dream the big dreams for 2010!

I was inspired by Ms. Molly over at Stratejoy when she posted her list of 20 Things to Do in 2010. So I'm joining the fun - I'm making my own list.

First things first, I came up with a few things that I value this year, the things that I want to be able to look back and say, "Yep, that's the kind of year I had!"

So here they are. I want my year to be full of adventure, brimming with creativity, seriously healthy and all sorts of connected.

Here's some insight on how I plan to do it!

---------------------

Be Healthy:

Take an intro lesson at a rock climbing gym
Take a cooking class that focuses on healthy foods (bonus points if I get Steven to join me)
Learn to do the splits (is this healthy or just an attempt to return to my 3-year old, seriously flexible self?)
Master the Experienced Beginners level of my pole dancing class and move on to Intermediate classes
Train for and complete a half marathon
Make plans to train for a bicycle century (maybe even do it this year!)

Be Connected:

Host a dinner party
Make successful chocolate soufflés at least once (and share then with someone special)
See Bon Jovi in concert with my fun-fabulous friend, Mireya
Volunteer with an organization that focuses on women's issues (Planned Parenthood, perhaps?)

Be Creative:

Get a digital SLR camera, and take an intro course in digital photography
Create 5 art pieces that I absolutely adore
Redesign the In Search of Squid website
Complete the final draft of my novel
Get an agent!

Be Adventurous:

Go skinny dipping
Soak in a hot tub in the snow (better get on this one!)
Get pictures taken on a beautiful beach in Maui by my favorite photographer
Take a trip to a U.S. state that I've never been before
Take a month long, solo trip out of the country

---------------------

Looks like I've got a busy year ahead of me! How about you? What's on your list this year?

photo credit: soartsyithurts

My First Week Away from the Day Job

2010-02-03T13:21:00.000-08:00

As I posted on Facebook last week, I seriously have the most awesome friends. I've been so surprised and amazed by all the support I've gotten as I've started this new journey and officially left my day job. Holy crap, can you believe I actually did it?

Part of me thinks I'm just on vacation. I'm sure I'll be back to work next Monday. Except, I won't.

Scary thought. But super, super exciting.

So here's where I'm at this week: OMG, it's seriously hard to focus! Yes, I know, it's only my first week away from the job. It's just that I had this fantasy that I would wake up first thing Monday morning with the sunrise, have some breakfast, then immediately get to work on the laptop. I figured by today I'd easily have five blog posts written, worked on my website redesign and been deep into the next chapter of the novel.

Um, that's not exactly how it's worked out.

I've written two blog posts (and that's only because I forced myself to actually sit down today and do something productive). I've read a whole heck of a lot about website design but have yet to actually do anything with that knowledge. And I haven't even cracked the novel.

Yes, I'm embarrassed to admit this. But it's true. And I suppose if I really want to hold myself accountable, I should fess up.

The reality is, Steven came home last Thursday after having only seen him two days out of the last five months. We've been spending all our time together (and rightfully so).

Perhaps the idea that I would leave work on Friday, welcome Steven home, then start my writing career bright and early Monday morning was a bit unrealistic. Who am I kidding? It was seriously unrealistic.

So I'm spending this week figuring out how my days should look. Pardon me if my posting the rest of this week is a little - scattered. I'm working on it. I'm sure I'll have it all figured out by next Monday. Ha. Or, at least, I'll be getting closer.

But, for some exciting news - my very first post is up at stratejoy.com. Be sure to swing over and check it out! I'll be writing for them every week, posting on Wednesdays. I hope you'll join the conversation and leave comments. I love comments. But you all know that, don't you?

Until next time, here's to living the life!

photo credit: Stuck in Customs

What I Talk About When I Talk About Running

2010-01-27T12:46:00.000-08:00

In this latest read, What I Talk About When I Talk about Running, Haruki Murakami shares his tales of life as a runner and novelist. Murakami shares how his perspective on life has been molded by his experience as a distance runner. He talks of how he came to writing (truly just an idea he had one day while at a baseball game) and how through writing, he came to running. The reader follows him through his training for the New York City Marathon and picks up stories of his life along the way.

I thought this book was a fun read and pretty fast to get through; though, I'm not sure I would call it a must read. If you're into running or into writing, I think it's definitely worth taking the time to check it out. If you're not into either, well, you might enjoy it or you might not.

Here's what I liked about it:

First, I haven't attempted running in quite a while. After I finished the Los Angeles Marathon in May 2009, I pretty much gave that up. But reading this book totally took me back to the experience of training, and I started to feel nostalgic. I'm actually thinking of going back to the sport and perhaps training for a half marathon in the near future.

Murakami talked about his first experience running a marathon, and I loved that he mentioned his emotions after nearing the end of the race. He reached a certain point and found he was just mad -- not for any clear reason. He simply felt angry. I can totally relate to that. I had a similar feeling after mile 22 that I seriously just wanted to yell at people. So much so, that I actually found it funny. It was nice to hear I'm not some crazy person and someone else has had this experience too.

And last, I loved his story of becoming a novelist. After running a successful nightclub/bar for several years, he decided to sell it, close shop and devote himself entirely to writing. He figured that if he wanted to write, he should give it his all and really find out if he could make it. Lots of people told him he couldn't and thought it was crazy that he leave a successful business. But he did it anyway. And he was an incredible success. Stories like that are always an inspiration.

Five Days and Counting

2010-01-25T09:37:00.000-08:00

Yes, that's right -- only five days left sitting at this desk! I'm ecstatic. I've never been a lover of Mondays. But I must say, this might be the best Monday yet.

Although I've had a few freak out, I-can't-believe-I-just-quit-my-job, moments -- it all actually feels really good. For the first time in my life, I don't have a plan. I mean, I have goals and projects I'll be working on, lots of things to keep me busy. But I don't have my usual step by step plan for mapping it all out. I have an idea of my desired end result, but I'm not at all sure how I'm going to get there. And you know what? I feel great. As a matter of fact, if nothing turns out quite as I expect, I am completely okay with that. Somehow, I know that just by taking this step, I'm moving toward a place that I actually want to be.

For me, that's HUGE. You see, I'm a worrier. I worry about everything. Seriously, there have been days when I've wondered if I should be on medication. It can be that bad. But for once in my life, I don't feel like there's any reason to worry. Maybe when something is really, really right -- you just feel it, you just know it.

I can honestly say, at this moment in time, I'm doing exactly what I should be doing.

So what are some of the things I'll be working on next? Once the day job is over, I'm going to start work on my blog redesign project. So much fun, so much learning and so much creativity involved -- I love it! I hope to have the new and improved blog up and running by the end of February, mid-March at the latest. I also plan to do a lot of writing. I'll be working on the novel -- woohoo!! And I'll be guest blogging over at Stratejoy, talking about my experience as I leave the traditional work world behind. I'll be sure to keep you in the know as to when my first post hits - should be the first week of February. I'm making a 20 Things for 2010 list, that I'll be posting here shortly, to make sure I get the most out of this incredible year and the opportunity I've taken to break out on my own.

I can't wait to share it all with you!

photo credit: clickflashphotos

The Pleasure of My Company

2010-01-20T08:00:00.000-08:00

I've been reading a lot of books lately that are rather serious and maybe just a little depressing. So with this next book, I purposely picked one that would simply make me smile. The Pleasure of My Company by Steven Martin is the perfect book for anyone looking to read a meaningful story that also makes you laugh out loud.

And, yes, the author is that Steve Martin. I was surprised. I knew he wrote for TV and film, but I didn't realize what a really good writer he actually is.

Daniel Pecan Cambridge, the main character, is plagued with obsessive compulsive disorder. His world is full of neuroses that impact nearly every facet of his life but stop short of defining him. He is somewhat obsessed with women, fears curbs, must control the wattage of the light bulbs in his home and yearns for the comfort of magic squares and counting. All this is turned upside down one day when his therapist-in-training, Clarissa, lets him into her life as a single mother.

The book is based in Santa Monica, CA, not far from where I actually live, and I must say, Martin's description of the City is superb. At one point, he depicts it as, "a perfect town for invalids, homosexuals, show people, and all other formerly peripheral members of society. Average is not the norm here. Here, if you're visiting from Omaha, you stick out like a senorita's ass at the Puerto Rican day parade." Now, seriously, who doesn't love description like that?

Definite thumbs up on this book. It's fun and quirky and takes you for an unexpected ride.

I Swear, I Don't Bite

2010-01-18T08:00:00.000-08:00

I realized something over the weekend. For the past few weeks, I've felt frustrated and a little bummed that I have such a hard time being open with people. I tend to be a bit introverted, shy and very private. Because of this, I often struggle to tell people what's really on my mind (well, except for Steven -- poor guy thinks I have no filter). But lot's of other people get the watered down version of me, and I've been working hard to change that (sometimes I'm more successful at this than others).

And then it hit me.

There are A LOT of people that are exactly the same way. Yes, yes, I know. This should be obvious, right? Well, shoot me, I got a little wrapped up in my own world and forgot this fact. Even outgoing, extroverted, unrestrained people often have issues with being totally open -- saying what's truly on their mind rather than some version of that truth. People often delay dealing with situations head-on. They stall. They avoid.

And so I've come to the root of what's been bothering me. True, it does frustrate me that this type of openness doesn't come natural to me. I have to work at it. But what's even more frustrating, is when I put the effort in to be totally open, and I don't get the same in return.

I really, really wish we would all learn to be open with each other and deal with issues head-on.

I know it's unrealistic to expect everyone in my life to place this same importance on being open. We all have priorities, and we're all on a different arc of growth. I accept this. And, actually, just being aware of this is helping tremendously.

But, for future reference, in case any of you were wondering: I would really prefer you to just tell it like it is. Don't be afraid to be totally open with me. I swear, I don't bite.

photo credit: wiccked

It's All How You Look at It

2010-01-15T08:00:00.000-08:00

I took a step back this week, and I realized something: a little perspective goes a LONG way.

My mind has felt a bit chaotic the last few weeks. I wrote on Monday about my insecurities, my stresses, how I need to learn to accept and let go. What I'm coming to realize is that the idea of accepting and letting go also includes accepting myself -- flaws and all.

Yes, sometimes I don't say everything I would like to say to every person that crosses my path. No, I'm not the most open, outgoing person you'll ever meet. And you know what? That's 100% okay.

I see my weaknesses for what they are, and I attempt to make changes when change is good. I'm not perfect. I never will be. But, overall, I'm pretty damn happy with who I am. Sometimes I'm bold and opinionated, other times I'm quiet and introverted. I kind of like that. If you don't like it -- suck it. (Ha-ha. Okay, perhaps that's a bit harsh. You get the point though.)

Steven mentioned something his tennis coach used to say: if you focus on improving your weaknesses, the best you can hope for is to become a good player; if you focus on improving your strengths, you've got a good chance at becoming a great player.

In other words, you get what you focus on -- don't you think it's best to focus on the good stuff?

So I'm relaxing a bit -- taking a moment to appreciate where I'm at. All in all, things are good. My relationship is strong. I'm fortunate to leave my job in the midst of a recession without much stress. I'm good with my money (hence, the without much stress part of that last statement). I've got kick-ass friends, lots of interests and lots of exciting stuff planned. So what if I'm a little quiet, don't always speak my mind and have the occasional doubt? Hey, I'm working on those things! In the mean time, I think I'll kick back and enjoy the ride (at least until the next time I decide to have a small breakdown in a public forum).

“Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.” --Marcus Aurelius

photo credit: stuck in customs

The Need to Accept and Let Go

2010-01-11T11:51:00.000-08:00

There are days when I feel like I know exactly what I’m doing. And then, there are days when I feel totally out of control. Okay, out of control is probably a little severe. What I really mean is that I feel confused, maybe a bit stuck.

I sometimes wonder why I so often seem to face the same life issues over and over. Why don’t I just learn from past mistakes and move the heck on? Again, I’m overstating this. But for the sake of simplicity, let’s go with that. So, why not?!?! Why do I seem to revisit the same issues in my life over and over and over again?

Perhaps we’re all just more experienced versions of our childhood selves, and so we continue to have the same weaknesses and the same strengths. And rather than accept those things in ourselves and learn to use them to our advantage, we attempt to change ourselves. People tell me I should be a certain way, act a certain way, feel a certain way. Sometimes I listen to them, and I try to be everything that everyone wants me to be.

When will I learn? When will I be completely happy and comfortable just being myself?

I was talking with one of my best friends over the weekend about acceptance. She said she’s finally at a place in her life that she’s willing to just accept what is, and she felt this fact was helping her to really enjoy life and simply have fun, rather than stress over every little thing.

I can totally relate to that sentiment. The ability to accept what is and simply let go of the need to control everything -- well, it frees you.

Those of you who know me know that I’m not particularly good at accepting and letting go of control. Sure, I’ve managed this in some areas of my life. But, in others, I kind of suck at it.

I’ve been feeling this way a lot lately -- like I’m a wadded up ball of stress, and my need to control and understand every situation has my brain going haywire. I need to accept the fact that sometimes I don’t understand, sometimes I don’t know all the details, sometimes it’s okay to just be me and forget about what anyone else may think of that. Sometimes I need to speak my mind without worrying about the outcome. Yes, sometimes, that is completely, 100% okay.

Of course, that’s easier said than done. Some people are good at it. Quite frankly, I’m not.

So that’s where I am today.

(When I sat down to write this, I had no idea what I was going to talk about. I’ve had a lot on my mind and have been at a loss for words to express it. It always amazes me the things that come across my fingertips on this keyboard. I wonder what I'll be thinking about tomorrow.)

Parting is Such Sweet Sorrow (Except It's Not)

2010-01-08T16:47:00.000-08:00

departure

peaceful, joyful

climbing, soaring, creating

living life on purpose

free

This is what I've been waiting for the past several months. I was scared to death. (Well, maybe not to death. I'm being a little dramatic here.) But I took a deep breath, walked into my boss's office and told her that I'm leaving.

Breathe...

And you know what? The world didn't stop turning, the walls didn't come caving in. All the stress of the decision was gone. I submitted my resignation. And I felt -- relief.

During the last several weeks in which I decided this day was nearing, I've had moments of panic. I've had nights of missed sleep. I've stressed, and I've worried, and I've wondered. Is this the right decision? Will I be able to make it? Am I freakin' crazy quitting a perfectly acceptable job during a recession?

Yes. Yes. And No.

I kind of want to do cartwheels down this basement corridor. Maybe I'll save that for my last day. Though, to be honest, I mostly just feel calm -- like I made the complete right decision for me.

Life is beautiful.

"Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly."
--Robert F. Kennedy

The Unbearable Lightness of Being

2010-01-06T17:03:00.000-08:00

I've been doing so much reading lately, and I'm loving it. Books have nearly taken the place of the television in my house. This would be a good thing, except the television is generally my distraction from doing things that are productive. Switching one for the other doesn't necessarily help with the productivity thing. But, hey, at least it sounds smart.

So here's the latest: The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera. The plot intertwines the Russian occupation of Czechoslovakia with the story of Tomas and Tereza, a couple struggling with their every day existence. Tomas is a successful surgeon who loves his wife but doesn't let that stop him from having numerous affairs with other women. His view that love and sex are two separate entities allows him to continue these actions year after year. Tereza is tortured by Tomas's infidelity but cannot find it within her to leave; thus, she considers herself weak. The author uses these characters, as well as the somewhat lesser characters of Sabina and Franz, to exemplify the human experience. He tells the facts of what happens but also attempts to outline each character's motivations and the differing ways each perceives their own world.

Kundera manages to pull off a very unusual point of view -- in that he is the narrator, not as any character or part of the story, but as the actual author. I'm not sure how to describe this other than to tell you -- you have to read it. His voice is truly unique. Without delving too deep into plot, Kundera manages to bring you along, mesmerized by his words and a deep understanding of the characters and their drive.

This isn't what I would call a light read. If you're looking for something to remove you from the realities of every day life, you might want to grab the latest Candice Bushnell novel. But when you're looking for a story that will draw you in and encircle you in a reality that is both honest and touching, this book will take you there. A truly unique and beautiful novel.

How to Be Unremarkably Average

2010-01-04T13:02:00.000-08:00

So it's Monday. My holiday break is officially over, and I'm back at my cubicle this morning. As I sit and ponder exactly how brave I am and what day I will submit my resignation, I've got Chris Guillebeau at The Art of Non-Conformity to inspire me. I love, love, love his blog.

I don't often share posts from other blogs, but I just love this one. It's like he was in my head. So here you are -- some light reading for this lovely Monday. (Click on the link to visit his fabulous site.)

How to Be Unremarkably Average

Simple Tips for a Risk-Free Life:

Accept what people tell you at face value. Surround yourself with people who think like you. Don’t stand out. Stay close to home. Get a normal job. Do things the way everyone else does, because there has to be a method to the madness.

College

Go to college because someone said you should get a degree, not because you want to learn anything. Take four years to finish, or maybe even five. No one’s counting. Take out student loans to “invest in yourself.” Follow the plan in your course catalog even if you hate some of the classes. Believe your advisor when she says you have to do things a certain way. Jump through hoops. Check off boxes.

Personal Finance

Use your credit card as your primary means of spending. Get the largest mortgage you can qualify for. Fill it with plasma TVs and expensive furniture. Buy a big, new car and complain about the cost of gas. Spend all you earn, or maybe even more than you earn. The government will help you if there’s a recession. Spend money on things you don’t want but will help you impress others.

Give token amounts of money to charity. Change the channel when a charity appeal comes on. Believe the 3,000 marketing messages that the average person in the U.S. and Canada receives every day. You need things you’ve never heard of before because they will help you feel better about yourself. You deserve to buy luxury products because you’ve earned the right through your hard work.

Travel

Go overseas once or twice in your life, to somewhere safe like England. Tell everyone what a great cross-cultural experience it was to visit London. (“They talk so differently over there!”) Wherever you go, make absolutely sure that you will be safe and comfortable. McDonald’s is now in 119 countries, so you can always find something good to eat.

If you want to be brave, go to somewhere like Mexico. Never travel unaccompanied to any place “really foreign.” Don’t try to speak any language other than English. If people don’t understand you, speak louder. Africa is for safaris and Asia is for cities with big shopping malls. Don’t drink the water!

Work

Work at a job you don’t like for the majority of your professional life. Sit at a desk 40 hours a week for an average of 10 hours of productive work. One day, the corner cubicle will be all yours. Until then, get really good at Minesweeper. Read every article on CNN.com every day. Attend useless meetings. Take the credit when things go right. Put the blame on someone else when things go wrong. Never take responsibility for anything. When you fail at something, resolve to never try again.

Form alliances of convenience to survive office conflict. When you are forced to mediate a disagreement, make your judgment on the basis of personality instead of principle. To advance in management, don’t confront anyone and only give positive reviews. Instead of trying to fix big problems, focus on unproductive work that everyone notices. In times of crisis, wonder out loud what someone will do. Polish the deck chairs on the Titanic.

Authority

Don’t question authority; it’s there for a good reason. Believe in and actively defend “the way things used to be” even if your memory is hazy about when that actually was. Feel threatened by new ideas. Never be the voice of dissent. Support your country’s foreign policy when it is popular and reject it when it is unpopular. Don’t wonder about someone’s motivations for pursuing one choice over another.

***

Don’t worry, be happy

Don’t worry about being average, because no one will ever question you about it. Average is the status quo. Politicians pander to the average out of political necessity. When they try to promote their own unconventional ideas, they quickly learn how risky it is to be truly different. If you go through life following this advice, you’ll find yourself in good company with virtually everyone who lives an unremarkably average life.

What more could you want?

Welcome 2010

2010-01-02T11:00:00.000-08:00

I'm scared. This is my All or Nothing year. So as I set out to make it amazing, it's time to start taking those leaps of faith. This goes against nearly everything in my genetic makeup. I'm not a gambler or a risk taker. I'm more of a rule-following, planning, stick-in-the-mud. At least, that's my natural tendency.

As I welcome 2010, I am determined to change this. Granted, I'll never be a true daredevil that takes action without a second thought -- quite simply, everything I do is carefully thought out or planned in some way. But even taking a risk that involves careful planning, by definition, still requires some level of risk.

I'm ready to do this. But as I said before, I'm still scared.

Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "We gain strength, courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face...we must do that which we think we cannot." And so in 2010, that is precisely what I plan to do. I will face my fears head on, knowing these are the risks I yearn to take, knowing that I can never be a success if I never try.

My first big obstacle is to leave my job. Wow, this one is huge for me. Financially, I've been preparing for this. I have money to pay the bills for a while, and if all else fails, I always have experience and a good education behind me to find another job. It's a risk, though probably not as big a risk as it feels at the moment. It doesn't help that every time I turn on the news, I see new pathetic statistics about people unable to find jobs in this economy. Granted, I know plenty of people who have been quite successful, even as the economy has been tumultuous. Actually, I know more success stories than failures. But it still scares me.

Once that step is behind me, it's time to get serious about my writing. This part is exciting -- not scary at all. Okay, maybe it's a little scary to do something new. But mostly, I'm just eager to get going. I've been researching different avenues of income streams, have some great projects to work on and am truly having a good time with it.

And last, though certainly not least, I have some big plans for travel in the new year. I've been putting this off for much too long, and I'm no longer content with waiting. I plan to take my first solo trip out of the country. It's a little intimidating, but I'm up for the challenge. I also hope to take a fab vacation with Steven and even jaunt over to New York City with my friend, Christy, in the fall.

All in all, this year is going to be full of new adventures. I'm ready to face my fears head on, take some chances and revel in the rich experiences that accompany them. One thing I've learned is that life never quite goes the way I imagine it will. Some things that I depict as obstacles will end up being no more than small speed bumps, if that. Challenges will come my way that I won't anticipate. Opportunities will reveal themselves when others fail. And through my writing, I'm thrilled for the chance to take you along for the ride.

To Be Vulnerable

2009-12-30T13:44:00.000-08:00

Here's something you may not know about me: I am a deeply private person.

I know, I know. That's probably hard to believe, given the fact that I sit here and blog about my life and often share my most intimate feelings with you (on top of that, I'm not even sure who all of you are). You see, writing is one of the few ways I've found to express myself where I truly feel free to be myself. Since I don't see or hear your reactions in real time, I'm more inclined to tell it like it is. Honestly, I do try to be open with people at all times and in all situations. Sometimes I succeed. Other times, I kind of fail.

Yet, even with the semi-anonymity of the blogging world, each time I write something that truly reveals a part of my soul and really digs deep, I cringe a little. When I hit that 'Publish Post' button, I hold my breath for a moment. I feel butterflies for the first hour or so after the post is published, wondering if anyone has read it yet. If not, do I have time to delete it?

You see, I learned from a very young age that expressing my honest opinions and thoughts would often result in negativity. Often, that negativity was in the form of yelling. Thoughts were rarely, if ever, simply heard or allowed to just be. I learned to keep quiet if I wanted to keep the peace.

In the process of keeping quiet, I developed an uncanny ability to read people. I could watch them and listen to them and figure out exactly what outcome would result from expressing which thought. I learned to hold many, if not most, of my feelings inside -- to only express those that would be safe, those that would result in a positive outcome.

I often say that I'm shy and that's why I don't always express myself. Though, that's not entirely true. Yes, I am shy when I first meet people. I prefer to feel them out, get to know them a bit before I put myself out there. But once I've gotten to know you - shyness isn't the reason I don't open up completely. It's more a fear of rejection - from a lover, a friend, anyone really. I've trained myself ever so well to read what people want to hear and offer that to them. It has become somewhat of a habit to hold back, to save myself from anything potentially painful or uncomfortable. And it's a bad habit, I might add.

If we never allow ourselves to be vulnerable and expose ourselves to the potential of rejection, we never have the opportunity to experience the wonders that could result.

I'm telling you this because I'm working to change this habit. I've been struggling with this for a while now -- and I have gotten better about it. I'm just not quite there. So I'm putting the intention out there -- an intention to be a little more open with the people I care about. And I assure you, if you're in my life, I truly do care about you.

Anyhow -- thanks for listening today, for allowing me to 'expose' myself in my writing, for continuing to read even when I say things you find uncomfortable. I feel fortunate to share this journey with you.

The White Queen

2009-12-28T10:39:00.000-08:00

My Christmas was not particularly exciting (sad to say). Honestly, I'm kind of glad the holiday is over. I tried -- I really did. But the holiday spirit never enveloped me (with good reason). So I'm ready to move on to the New Year!

As Christmas was a let down, I did have a lot of time to read (at least there was one positive note to the day). I made it through a few books over the weekend, and I'm happy to share my thoughts with you.

Here's the first:

I finished the newest Philippa Gregory novel, The White Queen. I read through this one pretty fast, as I devoured the story and the history that was behind it. I always love to read historical fiction; the history of pretty much anything interests me. Philippa chose an interesting point of view to tell the story of the War of the Roses -- that of Elizabeth Woodville, Queen to Edward IV. Historically, she has not been a particularly well liked figure. And in honesty, after reading the whole of the book, I'm not sure I care much for her either (as least not the character Philippa Gregory developed). She was a sympathetic character, to a point, and then she began making decisions that I simply couldn't reason with.

Although I thoroughly enjoyed reading the book, I did see some problems. Most pointedly, the book is written in the first person (from Elizabeth's point of view); however, at certain intervals, the author switches to third person point of view. It's odd, and it bugged me a bit. I understand why she did it. There were scenes included in the book that Elizabeth simply would have no firsthand knowledge of. But, still, it was jarring, and I think the author should have found a better way to handle this.

My other gripe is the usual complaint I have about Philippa Gregory's books (at least the ones I have read). She covers so much time and so much history in one book that she doesn't allow the space to fully develop the characters. It was hard for me to truly understand Elizabeth Woodville's motivation at times, which often lent to her being unsympathetic. Had Philippa spent more time developing her character and her motivations, I would have been able to better understand why she would make certain unthinkable decisions.

Nonetheless, I still really enjoyed this book (flaws and all). Philippa has a way of bringing history to life and making it interesting to the masses. Not a lot of people do that well -- and she does a phenomenal job. I look forward to the future books in this series.

2009: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly (But Mostly Good)

2009-12-26T08:00:00.000-08:00

What a year this has been!

In truth, I was feeling a bit like I didn't accomplish enough. But looking back, I can genuinely say that the year has been productive in a lot of ways (even if I didn't check as much off the bucket list as I would have liked), and I'm very happy with how it's ending. The transition to next year should be seamless, and I've set myself up for some pretty incredible times. Yay, me!

In case you missed it, here's a recap of 2009 (the good, the bad and the ugly):

The year started off with a bang. Well, maybe not a bang -- just a lot of fires burning along Colorado Blvd and the usual vagrants (I mean, campers) hanging out near my house, waiting for the Rose Parade. We had the extra thrill of some attempting to use our driveway as a urinal. It was all very lovely, per usual. For the life of me, I can't quite figure out why living along the Rose Parade route was a selling point when I first leased my apartment. But I digress.

I attempted to master the art of cooking chocolate soufflés and have since failed. I will try again next year. I did, however, master the chocolate cupcake and am thrilled that my chocolate icing is a hit! (Thank you, Martha.) It's a good thing I became an (almost) vegetarian. I figure all the healthy food sort of counterbalances the desserts.

I read lots and lots and lots of books -- and discovered my passion for writing. I started blogging with a vengeance and haven't looked back. I've written almost an entire novel and learned so much along the way that I've since decided it needs a complete rewrite. But the learning process was tremendous, and I could never have learned all that without having first written something that, let's be honest, kind of sucked. Haha. Don't worry, I'm not giving up on that dream. I actually believe I'm a damn good writer. We all have to start somewhere.

Speaking of writing, I attended my very first writer's conference and had an absolute blast! I met other writers, brainstormed new ideas, and learned, learned, learned.

I'm fortunate to have made some new friends and kept in touch with old ones. My sister-in-law came to visit us in May, my brother came to visit during the summer and two of my best friends came to visit in August. I spent time at places I'd never before been in L.A. and had a great time showing them around my city. In the process, I fell in love with musicals! I saw Dirty Dancing with Angela and Legally Blonde with Carrie and Christy. (OMG, you guys!)

I also took a few trips to Las Vegas and got to see some family and friends I hadn't seen in years. Sadly, I suffered the loss of a loved one, a member of my family. I've spent time wondering at the meaning of it all, realizing that life is truly precious and fleeting and should be embraced and celebrated while we are still able.

Steven and I took a trip up the coast to Monterey, which left me questioning why we hadn't been there before. The beaches were beautiful and the coastline along PCH -- absolutely stunning.

I reached a huge goal by completing the Los Angeles Marathon on May 25. Initially, it was to be a birthday gift to myself for turning 30. But they changed the date so many times, it didn't actually happen until after I was 31. Happy 31st to me! I gave myself the gift of fitness -- and bad knees -- but mostly fitness. I am absolutely amazed at what the body can do. And now I've found a new way to stay fit (aside from taking up cycling and planning for a century ride) -- I'm learning to pole dance! As I've said before, it's like gymnastics for adults. It's physical, it's incredibly hard and it'll kick your butt -- but it's also tons of fun!

A few other highlights from the year? I took a drawing class (and rediscovered my love of creating art), took a photography workshop, dressed up as a 'classy' witch for Halloween, joined the national bone marrow registry, updated my Bucket List and destroyed a wasp nest on our balcony (okay, Steven really did that -- but I watched!).

So there it is. That was 2009. There's lots more I didn't mention, but I think that sums it up pretty well.

Here's to a blissful, lively, breathtaking, superb 2010!

May it be filled with happy surprises and lots of love, love, love.

A Little Fancy Tickling and an All or Nothing Year

2009-12-22T11:04:00.000-08:00

One thing that I truly enjoy about this time of year is the opportunity to reflect -- to take time out, look back at the previous year, think about what I liked, what I didn't like and make any adjustments for the year ahead. In reality, it's a bit arbitrary. I could reflect at absolutely any time of year (and honestly, I sort of do). But I love the idea of doing it when the calendar changes. It feels like a blank slate -- the perfect time to start over fresh.

It's also a great time to set an intention for the coming year. I started this tradition only a year ago, and I like it a lot. Honestly, I don't like making New Year's resolutions. I tend not to follow through on them and only end up feeling like a failure. Not to mention, I've got enough to remember just trying to keep up with the Bucket List. But an intention is different. It's sort of my mantra or my theme for the year. When I'm stuck and can't make a decision, this intention is often what I think on -- and I attempt to make choices that mesh nicely with such an intention. Anyhow, enough about what it is.

Here's my intention for 2010: All or Nothing

It's going to be my "all or nothing" year. A subtle reminder (or perhaps not so subtle) that this is the year I plan to make the big decisions, take the big chances -- get out there and do things. I either put all of myself into the things I want to do or nothing at all (which leaves me with 'all' because 'nothing' is simply not an option). I'll attempt to leave the traditional work world behind, become a solo-backpacking-world traveler, finish my novel and search like hell for an agent, and throw in whatever else tickles my fancy. (That's an odd saying, isn't it? Tickles my fancy. What the heck does that mean anyway? Do I have a fancy? Can it be tickled?)

Okay, I'm getting away from myself. But you get the idea. I'm putting my all into all that I choose to do. And we'll see how it turns out! I, for one, think it'll be fabulous.

(And keep an eye out for my posts in the coming week. I'll be posting lots of reflections on the past year and lots of great music to be inspired by.)

Some Christmas Cheer: Maybe Next Year

2009-12-21T10:46:00.000-08:00

With the holidays so close, I thought it would be good to bring you some Christmas cheer -- though just a little. What can I say? I've been pretty low on holiday spirit.

For example, this is the first year in many, many years that I haven't sent Christmas cards. I love making handmade cards. The cards out of the box -- they don't really do it for me. But you see, I usually wait for inspiration to hit me -- an awesome idea that's new and unique. Well, it never came. I kept looking at the calendar, thinking that Christmas was creeping up on me, wondering when my idea would hit. It didn't. So I kind of let it slide.

On another note, I also didn't decorate the house. Yep, seriously, there is nothing in my house that looks even remotely like winter (unless you count a few holiday cards hung with magnets on my refrigerator). I have no excuse for this really. I have some really adorable decorations that are neatly tucked in a box in my coat closet. I must admit, I was just being lazy -- and at this point, it seems silly to go through the hassle of putting up Christmas decorations when I know I'll be taking them down come Saturday.

And it keeps coming -- I haven't done any Christmas shopping either. Okay, that's not entirely true. I did buy something for Steven, and I've been working on his gift for a few months now. But, damn, I didn't realize how long this project would take. I'm still waiting to get something back from a certain someone before I can actually finish it. The clock is ticking. It's looking more and more like this will be a Happy New Year gift than a Christmas gift. I only hope he likes the darn thing!

So there it is. My lack of Christmas spirit is somewhat appalling.

But maybe that's not entirely my fault. For instance, I just looked up the weather forecast, and it looks like the whole week will be in the low 70's/high 60's. I know people say I should be happy living in a place with such great weather -- but there's something about gray skies, snow and the cold that makes you want to be inside, sip hot cocoa and cuddle up with a loved one. This weather just makes me think of fall...or spring...or summer...or every other damn day of the year.

Not to mention, Steven's been gone for nearly half the year. For most of this, he hasn't even been on active duty. He's just trying to get things straightened out so that he can actually get out of the Army. Yes, we're fortunate that although his assigned post was in Kentucky, they allowed him to telecommute from Los Angeles, so we didn't have to move. But I assure you, for the work they were making him do, it was the least they could do. I can't say any more about that -- but just trust me on this one.

Okay, so this post was supposed to bring you a little Christmas cheer, and I've ended up sounding like the Grinch that Stole Christmas! Sorry about that.

What can I say -- maybe next year I'll be better.

Speaking of...I was in my pole dancing class last night learning fabulous news spins and climbing (and all sorts of crazy things that are bruising the hell out of my legs -- but so much fun nonetheless). And we danced to the most awesome Christmas song. So here's some cheer for you. Play it. You'll love it -- or at least I did.

Album: Hotel Cafe Presents - Winter Songs

Artist: Meiko

Song: Maybe Next Year

Wish List: Collage and Mixed Media Art Books

2009-12-20T09:01:00.000-08:00

I've been getting really into this whole mixed media/collage art thing. It's so much fun! For 2010, I'm going to try to work some type of creative project into my every day. I'm still figuring out exactly what that will look like. But in the mean time, I've been eyeing some art books that I can't wait to get my hands on.

Twilight and The Little Prince

2009-12-18T10:48:00.000-08:00

Aren't you lucky - two books in one post today! I'm feeling a little guilty for posting such sadness yesterday. Though my thoughts were honest, so I believe that's what counts. But to start Friday on a more positive note, I've finished a couple books that I just have to share.

So a quick disclaimer about this first book. Yes, I started reading the Twilight series. No, I am so not proud of this. Haha. But a girl can indulge herself in a little guilty pleasure now and then, right? (Perhaps we could just keep this between us.) The book is about falling in love or first love or true love or whatever you would like to call it. It's about Edward and Bella falling in love, being totally wrong for each other (as Edward is a vampire and Bella an ordinary girl). They seek to find a way to be together, as they can only hope that love truly does conquer all (particularly Edward's insatiable draw to kill Bella and drink her blood).

Here's the thing -- Stephenie Meyer is not a good writer in the technical sense. Oh how I wish I could be her editor and kill all those damn adverbs. She drove me a little crazy - seriously woman, learn to use stronger verbs! The other thing that bothered me was there were some serious flaws in the character development. She put these people into situations and had them make choices that seemed so far fetched -- even a sixteen year old girl like Bella would be smart enough not to make some of the decisions this girl made. I had a hard time believing that Edward had been alive for over a hundred years and never once experienced feelings of love. And the one time he decided to fall for someone, it was a sixteen year old girl. Now tell me, what man is right mind, that has experienced over a hundred years of life would choose someone so young, naive and inexperienced as Bella to be the one person he dedicates his life to and loves unconditionally?

Okay, now that I've fully trashed the book, here's the good part. It's a really fun read! Something about the story draws you in and keeps the pages turning. Perhaps it's my inner sixteen year old girl, yearning for the perfect boy to notice her -- the dangerous one, the one not quite right for her. And she's rooting for them, believing that love does conquer all. Or perhaps the plot is just so terribly 'out there' that it's a wonderful break from reality when you are simply looking for fun. If you're a literary snob, you'll hate it. If you're looking for a good time, you'll enjoy the read. (Secretly, I'm planning to read the rest of the series.)

---------------------------------

Now on to the next book. A friend recommended I read The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint Exupery. It's a children's book. And such a beautiful story. If you have children, read it to your little ones. If you don't, well, indulge your inner child and read it anyway. It's the story of a pilot who meets a little prince while stranded in the middle of the Sahara desert. The story makes fun of the seriousness of grown-ups and questions what truly is serious and important. It applauds the open-mindedness of children -- their ability to believe, to see what cannot be seen. It challenges the reader to see beyond surface appearances, as it's what's inside that matters. And it explores the idea that your vision of the world is what gives meaning to things -- one rose can be a source of beauty and great importance, or 500 roses can be passed by, unnoticed. You'll be touched by having read this one.

A Poetic Departure

2009-12-18T09:12:00.000-08:00

The director of the California Employment Development Department resigned today. The parting email he sent to colleagues was leaked. I think it's perfect. Perhaps I should use something similar for my parting words?

Here is the exact text:

Resigned. Quit. Gone. Freed. Vacated. Left. Stopped. Ceased.
Nowhere. Somewhere. Happy.
Not Here. No more. Don't guess.

PATRICK W. HENNING
Director
California Employment Development Department

It's like poetry for my soul.

In the Shadows

2009-12-17T09:32:00.000-08:00

I've been struggling with what to write this week. Some days, weeks (even months), I feel like I have it all figured out. Other days, weeks, months, I feel like I have nothing figured out. This is one of those weeks. Perhaps this is one of those months, and I'm only now stopping to notice.

There are so many things I want to talk about. But the thing with blogging is that I believe the people in my life deserve their privacy. I'm the one who chooses to blog, and I'm happy to share my thoughts, my feelings, my experiences. However, everything I've wanted to say this week has been about the thoughts, feelings, experiences of others -- those that intersect with my own life -- and I don't find it appropriate for me to share the details of someone else's story.

I guess I've come to a point where I need to make some decisions, some that I'm not particularly comfortable making. I'm facing issues that leave me wondering and questioning. Is it okay to make a choice that you feel is not authentically you, a choice you wouldn't make for yourself -- but you are faced with that choice, nonetheless, as someone you care about needs you to make that choice? Do you put yourself aside to make someone else happy, even if that means a part of you will be left unhappy? When is it okay to do this? When is it not?

I know -- I'm being rather vague here. Sorry for the lack of details. It's just that some decisions you have to make on your own without the thoughts or insight of others.

Truly, it has been a difficult week. We found out that an friend committed suicide last week while serving overseas. I won't tell his story, as again, it's not my story to tell. It breaks my heart that as a part of these wars, we are asking people to do the unthinkable. And so much of it is in the shadows -- stories that can't be told. We ask soldiers to take actions that may well go against their every belief and often also ask them to hold it inside. And the rest of us go on with our lives, pretending nothing bad is happening.

When something like this happens, it leaves me questioning. Are these sacrifices really worth it? Is it in any way okay to put the men and women of the military through this mental turmoil, for an outcome that is uncertain to say the least? Are we really protecting our freedoms, or are we doing more harm than good? The suicide rate of the Army is at a 26 year high. More soldiers have taken their own lives this year than have been killed in Iraq, than have been killed in Afghanistan. But numbers and statistics are one thing -- being personally affected -- that is completely different.

Honestly, I'm feeling a bit lost at the moment. I need time. Precious time -- that which we have so little of to actually do the things that matter, that really make a difference. And, yet, here I am, sitting in this office. I have to wonder why.

I was listening to this song on the radio on my way to work this morning -- Someday by Rob Thomas. I thought it fitting to my mood right now, so here's my song of the week. If you haven't seen the video, it really is a great video. Be sure to watch.

You can go
You can start all over again
You can try to find a way to make another day go by
You can hide
Hold all your feelings inside
You can try to carry on when all you wanna do is cry

And maybe someday we’ll figure all this out
Try to put an end to all our doubt
Try to find a way to make things better now that
Maybe someday we’ll live our lives out loud
We’ll be better off somehow, someday

Now we wait
And try to find another mistake
If you throw it all away then maybe you can change your mind
You can run
And when everything is over and done
You can shine a little light on everything around you
Man it’s good to be someone

And maybe someday we’ll figure all this out
Try to put an end to all our doubt
Try to find a way to make things better now that
Maybe someday we’ll live our lives out loud
We’ll be better off somehow, someday

I don’t wanna wait
I just wanna know
I just wanna hear you tell me so
Give it to me straight
Tell it to me slow

‘Cuz maybe someday we’ll figure all this out
We’ll put an end to all our doubt
Try to find a way to just to feel better now
Maybe someday we’ll live our lives out loud
We’ll be better off somehow, someday

‘Cuz sometimes we don’t really notice
Just how good it can get
So maybe we should start all over
Start all over, again

‘Cuz sometimes we don’t really notice
Just how good it can get
So maybe we should start all over
Start all over, again

The Weekend is Here!

2009-12-11T16:23:00.000-08:00

Woohoo! I love it when I get say that. I love weekends! I think there should be a new national policy: 5 day weekends and 2 day work weeks. Wouldn't that be fab?

Perhaps if my job didn't bore me to death, make me want to poke my eyes out with a fork, make me contemplate banging my head haphazardly against the wall -- maybe then I wouldn't dislike the work week so. But since it does -- damn, I wish the week were shorter!

You may be wondering what has been happening with my job situation -- am I quitting, am I reducing my hours, am I running away with the circus?!?! I'm not quite ready to give the complete update because there are a few things still in the air. As soon as I make the final decisions, I'll be sure to let you know. But know this -- there are some exciting changes on the horizon! I'm looking forward to sharing them with you as soon as I've figured it all out (haha -- as if I'll ever have everything all figured out).

But for the weekend -- why yes, I do have it all figured out. I just realized that I probably overbooked myself. What was I thinking doing so much in one weekend? I usually like time to rest and relax a bit, mixed in with the fun stuff. But I'll have to sacrifice the extra sleep in an effort to squeeze it all in.

Tomorrow morning, I'm heading out to Santa Monica with Mireya for a digital photography workshop. I am determined to learn to use my point and shoot camera way better than I do now. Once I get that down, I'll be super excited to buy a digital SLR. I can't wait! But I've committed to learning some basics on an easy camera first (I figure, if I can't commit to learning the simple stuff, what makes me think I'll take the time to do it on a far more complicated -- and more expensive -- camera). The class should be really fun!

Saturday afternoon I'll be helping Mireya put things together for the Christmas party we're having at her house that night. We have some friends coming over that I haven't seen in a long time, so I'm really looking forward to it.

On Sunday, I'm meeting my sister-in-law, niece and nephew at the Citadel outlet mall for some lunch and shopping (I know, are we crazy visiting the outlet mall during the holiday season? Probably, yes.). She drove down to SoCal with her mom and the kids earlier this week for a surprise trip to Disneyland (how fun!). I want to be sure to meet up with them before they head out of town.

On Sunday night, I have my pole dancing class. This is my first foray into the 'experienced beginners' level. I'm totally excited and can't wait to see what new tricks I'll learn. I think I'm ready for some spins.

For tonight, I'll be picking up some things from the store, doing some cleaning I won't be able to get to over the weekend and making chocolate cupcakes for tomorrow. Busy, busy...

So that's my weekend in a nutshell. I'll let you know how it all goes. What are you all up to?

Sister of My Heart

2009-12-09T16:57:00.000-08:00

The latest book I finished, Sister of My Heart by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni, was a fabulous find. My grandma actually gave me the book. I've had it for a couple of months, from my last drive down to Vegas, and I've been eyeing it. But I've had so many other books to read, I kept putting it off. Last week, I picked it up to see if it was any good.

In honesty, it took me a chapter or two to really get into the book. When I first started reading, I thought perhaps it wasn't for me. But as I delved into the story, I found the book difficult to put down. And it turned out--I really, really loved it.

I was pulled into the story of two girls from Calcutta, India--cousins--who grew up together in a harshly traditional, all woman household. Practically inseparable from birth, Anju and Sudha were best friends, sisters, bonded for life. When Sudha learned a dark family secret, her shame led her to pull away from Anju. The story followed the two women as they experienced both the harsh realities of life and the joy, entered into arranged marriages and began families of their own--one in America and one in India.

This is a beautifully written story of the strong bonds that form between women--of friendship and love and sisterhood. I highly recommend you take the time to read this one!

Fun Updates on Travel and Dance

2009-12-08T13:16:00.000-08:00

I'm making progress on this whole dream of traveling the world. I talked with Steven about it over the weekend--my intense yearning to pack everything up, leave home and wander through some far off place. And he totally gets it. I mean, it's not his thing by any means--but he completely understands that it's my thing, and it's something I need in order to feel completely fulfilled and happy. Plus, he's totally okay with it.

I said to him, what if I wanted to leave for a month, three months, a year--would you still be here when I get back? He responded that of course he would; I don't need to worry about not having a fiance when I return--he fully supports anything I want to do. And the beautiful thing is, I know he really means it. The only thing he asked is that I wait until he starts his residency next June, which I already planned anyhow.

Of course, I'm not actually interested in leaving home for a year. I'm this interesting mix of free-spirited wanderer and complete homebody. I love being home. I'm thinking perhaps a month or two at a time would be perfect. If I did this say, once a year, I'd get around the world in no time.

Steven has promised to go with me on at least one vacation a year. He's not the backpacking, wanderer type--but he can certainly appreciate a fun trip and a nice hotel. Plus, I have a few great traveling friends that are sure to go with me on trips with more reasonable timelines (I am so looking forward to that trip next year, Christy!).

I figure between traveling on my own, going with Steven and going with friends--I'm sure to get this need to travel wholly fulfilled.

Oh, and on an entirely different topic--I've been having SO much fun in my pole dancing class! I've decided to make it a weekly thing. It's fabulous. I have such an awesome teacher. I'm feeling stronger and more confident. And I seriously look forward to class each week--it's all kinds of fun!

Every Monday Matters: The Afghan Women's Writing Project

2009-12-07T11:05:00.000-08:00

Most people I know are pretty good at cocooning themsleves in every day life. They go about their days, thinking most about their current situation - their needs, their wants, their dreams, their excitements, their disappointments. I do this too. And it's perfectly okay.

However, it is also important to step outside yourself and become aware of what is happening in the world. This could be in your own community, in another state, in another country. There are thousands of ways to do this. You could read your local and/or national newspapers, get involved with community groups, volunteer your time, read the websites of your political representatives to learn their views, have thoughtful conversations with friends and family.

Today, I would like to ask you to do something incredibly simple--something that will help give you insight into the lives of others. I started reading this blog, the Afghan Women's Writing Project. I am asking that you take a few minutes out of your day and read a few of the entries.

You can visit the Afghan Women's Writing Project at this site: http://www.awwproject.wordpress.com/

Given the influence our country currently has in Afghanistan (good or bad), I think it is our responsibility stay informed--to learn about their culture, their interests, their wants, their needs. This is one small way to do that.

The Afghan Women's Writing Project was started by novelist Masha Hamilton in an effort to prevent the world from losing access to the voices of Afghan women. She wanted the voices of these women to enter the world directly, without any mediation. The Afghan women who participate in the project vary widely--some from Kabul University, some survivors of refugee camps, some witnesses to life under the Taliban. The women participate in classes online taught by volunteer authors/teachers. The teachers sign up for a rotation of a few weeks and post lectures and exercises to the class. Many participants' essays are published on the blog.

You can read about Afghanistan in the newspapers, but little compares to reading first hand accounts from individuals. Take time out, and make this a priority today. After all, it is Monday--and Every Monday Matters.

Fear and Wanderlust

2009-12-03T06:02:00.000-08:00

“There’s fear that keeps you alive. And there’s fear that keeps you from living. Wisdom is knowing the difference.”--David Swenson

For a number of years, I have been absolutely obsessed with the idea of traveling the world. I want to wander among natural wonders, see far off vistas up close, experience different cultures--totally and completely immerse myself in lives different from my own.

The only problem is, with all my wanderlust, I have yet to actually do this. Sure, I've been to a few places--taken a few vacations worth writing home about. But nothing compared to what I actually yearn to do. I'm at the point where I have to ask myself why. Why have I never taken that leap?

One of my greatest fears is reaching the end of my life and looking back, disappointed that I never saw all I needed to see.

Yet, it's fear that holds me back.

There's always something, some excuse: I was in school, it would be too expensive, I'm afraid of traveling alone, it wouldn't be right to leave my fiancé for such a long time, what would I do with my things, I'm terrified of flying, etc., etc. I've never lacked for excuses. Somehow I have to find a way to overcome these fears--I have to figure out how to just do it. And once I figure it out, I need to do just that--I need to just do it.

I'm a little stuck here. I'm one of those people that hashes and rehashes every available option until just thinking about it gives me a headache. And then I stop--I stop thinking about it, I stop planning, I just stop. It's one of the unfortunate side effects of my tension bound, type-A personality; my self-diagnosed generalized anxiety disorder; my inkling of OCD. Ha, it seems I did learn something from my undergraduate education--a lot of ways to label myself.

All joking aside, I seriously need to do this. I need to travel, see the world, explore this passion. HELP--Where do I even begin?

Water for Elephants

2009-12-02T09:14:00.000-08:00

I have a policy of not buying books any longer. For one, I don't have any more space. For two, it wastes paper and kills trees. One of these days, I'll get myself a nice, environmentally friendly Kindle, and I'll be able to buy all the books my little heart desires. In the mean time, I spend my book time at the library, searching their seemingly endless shelves. I really do love the library.

Anyhow, I've actually had this latest book for a while. A friend of mine gave me Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen several months ago after she read it. She said she really liked it and thought I might like it too. Honestly, I wasn't sure. A book about a traveling circus didn't exactly appeal to me. But--as I have this thing with being able to say that I've actually read ALL of the books that I own, I picked it up last week and started reading.

I'm so glad I did.

Water for Elephants is about the life of Jacob Jankowski. He's an ivy league educated, almost-veterinarian who, after tragedy strikes, lands himself on a train with the Benzini Brothers Most Spectacular Show on Earth. He snags the role of veterinarian for the circus menagerie. When he meets Marlena, a performer, and her husband, August, his life is forever changed.

The reader follows Jacob as he takes on the life of a traveling circus, falls for an elephant named Rosie and fights to protect the woman he loves.

The story moves between the early part of the great Depression (during Jacob's time with the circus) and his current life--struggling to accept his fate in a nursing home at the age of ninety, or niney-three (he can't quite remember which one). This jumping from present to past back to present bugged me a little at first. I was really into the circus story, and I sort of wished the author would have stuck to that. But she managed to sway me as I also became very involved in the story of the aging man.

All in all, I thought this was a great book. It's an easy read. If you pick it up, you'll be surprised how quickly the pages fly by, in an effort to learn how it all ends.

Why Monday Sucked and I'm Joining the 29 Gifts Movement

2009-12-01T13:11:00.000-08:00

The four day weekend was wonderful. It was quiet; I was able to rest, relax and do a whole lot of nothing. I wasn’t ready for Monday to hit. And let me tell you, yesterday was another one of those Mondays when everything went wrong. I wanted to crawl back under my covers, pull the sheets over my head and play dead. I should have called in sick to work and called in sick to life. I should have skipped the whole damn day.

So, my apologies for not posting Every Monday Matters. Next Monday, I promise to do better.

Let me be honest, most of the reason yesterday sucked was my fault. I totally screwed up, let down a friend, and that impacted my whole day. I’ve dealt with the issue and am working to make it better. But I still have that icky feeling. You know, the feeling you get when you’re just mad at yourself for doing something stupid? Yep, that’s the feeling.

In an effort to get rid of the icky-ness, I’ve decided to do something really great. I’ve been seeing articles buzzing all over the place about something called the 29 Gifts Movement. So I looked it up. And I love it! I’m going to join the movement. Here’s some info about it.

29gifts.org is a global giving movement. By joining, you would give away one gift every day for 29 days. All gifts count, and you can give them to anyone. Give away money, food, your old sweaters, your time, a kind word, a smile. In doing this, you become aware of the positive impact you have on others. You stop thinking so much about yourself, step outside your own story each day and serve the needs of someone else.

I’ll be blogging about my experience during my 29 days of gift giving -- and maybe I’ll provide a little inspiration for you to join the 29 Gifts Movement too!

Thankful

2009-11-27T13:31:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving is over, but that's no reason to stop being grateful. In the spirit of the holiday, I've made a list of the random things I'm thankful for. Remembering what matters reminds me of what an incredible life I have. All in all, I think I'm pretty darn fortunate.

So here it is--things I'm thankful for:

I'm so happy that I found Steven; his love, understanding, openness, honesty--it's a beautiful thing, and we have a beautiful life together. ~ I'm happy to have a circle of really wonderful friends that, over the years, have grown to become my family. ~ I'm thrilled for the new friends that cross my path; connections with amazing people--well, it's an amazing thing. ~ I'm thankful for the bonds I share with my family. ~ I'm thankful for my niece and nephew because they are these beautiful, sweet, amazing, talented kids that I can't wait to watch become the fantastic people they are destined to be (I only wish I lived closer to see more of the little details in between). ~ I'm thankful that I've taken a lot of pictures over the years, as each picture holds a memory worth revisiting again and again. ~ I'm thankful that at the end of November, I'm sitting in my living room in capri pants and a t-shirt; you've just got to love 85 degree days in SoCal. ~ I'm thankful that Steven is signing out of the Army and will soon be home with me again--this time for good. ~ I'm thankful when something seems bad at first, but then time passes and you realize that bad thing turned out really great in the end. ~ I'm thankful that I decided to step outside the box this year and do things that make me feel alive and happy. ~ I'm thankful that I have an awesome pole dancing instructor that makes her class so much fun. ~ I'm thankful for Facebook because, seriously, how would I keep in touch with so many people otherwise? ~ I'm thankful for Rachel Ray and whoever decided to put her show on the air because she managed to get me interested in cooking--and then got me pretty good at it, too. ~ I'm thankful for all the writers that write the books I read, providing me hours and hours of entertainment. ~ I'm thankful for the amazing professors I had in college and grad school. ~ I'm thankful for my awesome hair stylist, Chris, because her artistry with the scissors keeps my hair from looking all crazy. ~ I'm thankful for my friends that blog, for letting me into their lives a little more than they probably would otherwise. ~ I'm thankful for my iPod as I love having a big random music collection that gets me moving whenever I'm in need of a little pick me up. ~ I'm thankful for my downstairs neighbor for letting me use her wireless internet. ~ I'm thankful for birth control. ~ I'm thankful for my speedy metabolism. ~ I'm thankful for the time I have to write and create and make art. ~ I'm thankful for pedicures because I really like having pretty feet. ~ I'm thankful there are people out there that actually take the time to read my blog.

I imagine I could go on all day, but I'll stop here. There are so many things to be thankful for--life is good, people.

So what are you waiting for? Give it a try. Make a list of your own!

Why Women Are Not Cows and I Belong to Me

2009-11-24T10:51:00.000-08:00

When I was about 20 years old, I had this boyfriend. He was a nice guy (at least--he tried), but we had all these problems. We simply weren't good together. Being young and naive, it took a while for us to realize this.

Anyhow, this last weekend I recalled something from that relationship which bothered me. Well, it wasn't from the relationship per se, more something that someone said. I remember visiting Jason (that was the boyfriend) at his job and talking with his boss. I really liked his boss; he was a really sweet guy and always tried to help Jason out. At this point in our relationship, Jason and I were living together (God knows why). So I was talking with Jason's boss, and he was asking me if I thought Jason and I would get married. I said that maybe we would eventually (okay, so I probably said something dumb, like--absolutely, of course, we're so in love). His boss responded telling me that I should really consider mine and Jason's living situation. He said, "Why buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free?" At the time, I felt kind of sad when he said that. I thought--maybe he's right; why would Jason ever marry me if I'm living with him? What would be the incentive?

Eleven years later and a whole lot wiser, that statement doesn't make me sad--it pisses me off. I don't think people really realize what they're saying when they make statements like that. And that conversation wasn't the first time someone told me that--it certainly wasn't the last time either. People still say these things to me.

So this is my response to that statement in the here and now: I AM NOT A COMMODITY! No woman is. And no damn reference should ever make her feel that way. I'm not a cow; I'm not selling my milk; I am not for sale. I don't offer a fee for service. No one will ever own me. My fiance wanting to marry me has nothing to do with what I am or am not holding back from him. It has to do with the fact that he respects me, loves me, sees me as his partner and wants to spend his life with me. If someone doesn't want to marry you, it has nothing to do with sex or milk or cows! Perhaps, it simply isn't right.

Many cultural references like this exist in our society. And I think it's time we raised our daughters to think more of themselves than that. They are not a commodity or a business transaction. Their goal in life is not to find a husband to complete them. They should not be judged on whether they are single or married or living with their partner. They should be raised to focus on what makes them happy--their definition of happy, not society's.

I find it sad that I have friends who judge themselves based on whether or not they are single, engaged, married, etc. I don't know a whole lot of men who judge themselves this way. Obviously, we know how to raise boys to become independent, happy, confident men--men who don't need their girlfriend to give them a ring in order to feel complete. Perhaps we should start raising our girls this way too.

I think Jessica said it best in my song of the week: I Belong to Me.

I Belong to Me
Jessica Simpson (Songwriter: Diane Warren)

I belong to me

It's not that I don't wanna share my life with you, baby
It's just that I'm the one I need to be true to, baby
And I won't give up me to be part of you

It's not that I don't want to have you in my life, baby
It's just you gotta know that it's got to be right, baby
Before I open up my heart to you

I don't need somebody to complete me
I complete myself
Nobody's got to belong to somebody else

I belong to me
I don't belong to you
My heart is my possession
I'll be my own reflection

I belong to me
I'm one, not half of two
And if you're gonna love me
You should know this, baby
That I belong to me

I gotta let you know before I let you in, baby
That who I am is not about who I am with, baby
That don't mean I don't wanna be here with you, I do

I don't need somebody to complete me
I want you to know
I'll give all my love but I'm not givin' all my soul

I belong to me
I don't belong to you
My heart is my possession
I'll be my own reflection

I belong to me
I'm one, not half of two
And if you're gonna love me
You should know this, baby
That I belong to me

Love don't mean changin' who you are
To be who somebody wants you to be
Nobody's got to belong to nobody

I belong to me
I don't belong to you
My heart is my possession
I'll be my own reflection

I belong to me
I don't belong to you
My heart is my possession
I'll be my own reflection

I belong to me
I'm one, not half of two
And if you're gonna love me
You should know this, baby
That I belong to me

Every Monday Matters: Tell Your Senators that Women's Rights are Human Rights

2009-11-23T15:01:00.000-08:00

As many of you know, I support an organization called Physicians for Human Rights (PHR). This organization mobilizes campaigns that promote health, dignity and justice for all people. They investigate human rights abuses and work to stop them. If you've never checked out their website, please do. They do some great work.

PHR is launching a new campaign called the 10,000 in 10 campaign. Between December 1 (World AIDS Day) and December 10 (International Human Rights Day) they plan to mobilize 10,000 Americans to ask their US Senators to support ratification of the Convention to Eliminate all Forms of Discrimination Against Women (CEDAW).

I learned about the campaign early and am looking to help them get a head start. For today's Every Monday Matters, I am asking you to please sign the petition to encourage your US Senators to support the ratification of CEDAW.

Here's some information about CEDAW:

CEDAW is the most comprehensive women's rights treaty in the world, acknowledging the political, civil, economic, cultural and social rights of women.
The treaty creates international gender equality standards.
CEDAW considers discrimination against women to be any distinction, exclusion or restriction made on the basis of sex.
The US is one of only 7 countries in the world who have yet to ratify this treaty (the others being Iran, Nauru, Palau, Somalia, Sudan and Tonga).
The treaty was adopted by the United Nations in 1979 and efforts for US ratification have come up repeatedly in the Senate but faced significant obstacles by CEDAW opponents, crushing potential for ratification.
CEDAW now has strong support within the Foreign Relations Committee and is listed by the Obama administration as one of the top three treaties to ratify.

Please click the following links to learn more:

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By signing the petition, you would be sending the following letter to your US Senators:

In commemoration of World AIDS Day and Human Rights Day 2009, I urge you to show public support for the ratification of the Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination Against Women (CEDAW) in the United States.

Protecting human rights promotes women's health -- in the US and across the globe. Women all over the world are facing discrimination, abuse and systematic inequities that make them especially vulnerable to HIV/AIDS. Until we protect women from sexual violence and exploitation, provide health, prenatal care and education, and ensure all women have the socioeconomic power to negotiate safer sex practices, HIV/AIDS will continue to disproportionately affect women in many parts of the world.

Human rights violations against women also fuel conflicts world-wide -- from Darfur to Burma, Congo to Guinea. To protect women and girls from the ravages of war -- including the use of rape and sexual violence as weapons -- the US must ensure human rights for women in conflict zones, for refugees, and for asylum seekers coming to the US to escape gender-based violence and persecution.

CEDAW sets a universal standard as the most comprehensive international treaty addressing women's equal political, civil, economic, cultural and social rights. CEDAW ratification in the United States would strengthen US laws that ensure women's equal rights as well as illustrate the United States' commitment to serve as a global leader of human rights.

Your public support for the treaty is essential for CEDAW to be ratified in 2010. Since the United States signed the treaty in 1980, it has stalled in the Senate Foreign Relations Committee and Senate numerous times. Obama gave CEDAW new life by putting it back on the international treaty agenda in Spring 2009. Now you, alongside your fellow Senators, have the opportunity to support CEDAW ratification in the United States and pass this important treaty in 2010. I am calling on you to be a strong voice in making CEDAW ratification happen. Show your public support for the equal rights of your female constituents, fellow Americans, and women and girls around the world.

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Please click here to sign the petition. It takes less than two minutes to complete the process. By joining me in signing, you'll be taking a great step in support of women's rights. Now that's a good thing for a Monday!

Anyone Want to Make Me Dinner?

2009-11-20T11:54:00.000-08:00

As I just posted on Facebook, would it be too much to ask for someone to show up at my house tonight with a bag of groceries and then proceed to make me dinner? Seriously, it's been too long since someone else has cooked for me. And I'm tired of cooking for myself. Well, I've pretty much run out of food in the house and have been procrastinating on hitting up the grocery store. So really, I haven't been cooking for myself these past few days so much as running for take-out or deciding to just be hungry. Lol. Yes, I know, this is ridiculous. I'm not usually this lazy. But something about this past week has made me want to go home and veg every night rather than run errands--and I have wholeheartedly given in to that feeling.

I think it's time I headed to the store. So instead of going home on a Friday night, looking for something fun to do, I'm going to get my butt to the grocery store and get food! And I'm even going to cook.

But, seriously, who out there wants to cook for me?

In high school, I would go to Carrie's house after school, sit on the stool at the breakfast bar and say, "Carrie, I'm hungry." She would give me a hard time, yet every day she would still ask me what I wanted and then make it. In college, my sister-in-law filled Carrie's shoes. For a while, I lived with her, and she made dinner pretty much every night (it can't get better than that). But even when I didn't live with her, I would call, ask what they were having for dinner, then say I'd be right over. I was spoiled.

Now that I live in California, I've lost my trusty friends who love to cook for me (as I'm sure they did love it). After nearly seven years with Steven, the guy has only cooked for me once. And the one time, I did half the work because he didn't know what he was doing. It was somewhat comical. I suppose that's what happens when you grow up with a 'Martha'. (Not that I'm complaining. He might not cook, but he does everything else I could ever ask of him. I'm seriously lucky that way.)

Okay--I'm spending entirely too much time thinking about food, and now I'm hungry. Off to find something to eat!

Thanksgiving, Art Projects and Thoughts on Office Chocolate

2009-11-19T12:57:00.000-08:00

The holiday chocolates are already starting to accumulate in my office. Would it be too much to ask for people NOT to bring these things in? I love chocolate--it's seriously so yummy. But there is such a thing as too much of a good thing. Stop it people--just stop it!

Haha. Now that I've gotten that off my chest. How are you all? I can't believe Thanksgiving is just around the corner. I have made absolutely no plans. I often go back to Vegas for Thanksgiving weekend, but I'm not sure what I'm going to do this year. Steven is still out of town, but we're hoping he'll get to come home next week. His birthday is the Friday after Thanksgiving, and it will be a serious bummer if he has to spend it in a fly over state like Kentucky, all by himself (no offense to any Kentucky-ans out there). Mostly, I would just like him to be able to spend the holidays at home. Of course, if he does, we'll probably be eating Panda Express. Lol. What can I say? The hassle of Thanksgiving dinner--well, it feels like a hassle this year. And I quite remember going with my sister-in-law to Panda on Christmas day one year, and they were totally open (so I assume they might be on Thanksgiving). Haha--yes, I know, I'm feeling a little lazy right now. Martha would not be impressed. Perhaps this will change by next week?

One thing that I am totally inspired to do is my next art project. I've got this really great idea to do a vision board made with mixed media collage/painting techniques. I just picked up a new art book called Taking Flight: Inspiration and Techniques to Give Your Creative Spirit Wings, and it has definitely inspired me. Kelly Rae (got to love that name, too), is the artist and author of the book. She has this amazing mixed media collage style that's really fun. So I'm going to spend the weekend doing arts and crafts and learning to turn collages into awesome paintings! Now that's a good thing.

Bucket Lists and Pole Dancing

2009-11-18T11:01:00.000-08:00

I can't believe it's Wednesday already! The week is flying by, and I'm totally slacking on my blog posts. My apologies to my faithful readers. But I'm back, and I've got fun stuff to share.

First, I totally updated my Bucket List! You have to check it out. (Either click on the tab at the top of the page titled "Bucket List" or click here.) I made it two lists. The first is a list of things that I definitely plan to do during 2010. And the other is all those things I want to do at some point--pretty much, I'll just do those ones whenever I have the chance. I'm really excited! I already started on one of my 2010 items, and that's the other fun thing I have to share.

I started taking pole dancing lessons! And I am LOVING it. I took my first class with my friend, Mireya, this last Sunday. Mireya and I aren't all too shy when we're together, so we drove down to Studio City, excited about taking our class, laughing and making totally inappropriate jokes. But hey, who's to say what's appropriate? The class was held at a yoga studio and was offered by a company called Luscious Maven Pole and Exotic Dance (I know, aren't these names hilarious?). When we walked into the studio, one of the other teachers had music playing and was practicing pole tricks. Mireya and I stared, pretty amazed at what the woman could do! I think I decided right away--I SO want to learn to do that. Of course, we're total newbies, so we had to start at the very beginning--no turning upside down and sliding down a pole just yet. Haha. Our instructor, Heather (don't you love that name?), was awesome. She had a great teaching style, didn't make it seem intimidating at all and didn't mind us laughing at ourselves when our bodies contorted in the exact opposite way we intended. The class started with lots of stretching. The stretching was reminiscent of yoga, except much more sensual. I'm quite sure I know a few men that would have paid good money to see that class. Lol--I suppose that's why strip clubs exist. At one point, the instructor was explaining how to do one of the moves and said, "Imagine you have a paint brush in your bootie, and you're painting the wall." I couldn't get that picture out of my mind - every time it flashed, I would start to chuckle. We learned a move called the Cat Pounce. This was such a hot move and really the only one I was having a lot of trouble with. I have to practice that one at home--I am determined to get it. After the stretching and the floor work, we moved onto the poles. And those things are fun! It's amazing what a pole can add to a few hip sways and a twirl. The workout is fun, sexy and will build your body strength and make you more bendy! Great fun for everyone! I wholeheartedly recommend every woman try this at least once. It's liberating. And fun! So what are you waiting for? Get out there and find a class.

Making Memories

2009-11-12T17:03:00.000-08:00

How often is it that you meet someone you totally click with--someone that you talk with for a short time (or maybe a long time) and you know right off that person gets you?  I don't have that experience a lot. People tend to think that my nontraditional ways of looking at the world are a little odd, they look at me with curiosity when I say I'm ready to give up my financial security for a chance at creativity and fun, when I say I'd rather sleep under the stars in some far off place than stay in a five star hotel. Anyhow, you get the idea. You've read my blog, right? I imagine I've raised a few eyebrows.

But then there are those few people that I share my ideas with whose eyes light up, and they say--Yes! Do it. You have to! Those are the people I'm talking about, the people that totally get me.

Sometimes they're my oldest friends--the ones I played The Rainbow Game with in the fifth grade. Sometimes they're my high school friends--the ones I cried to when the guy I had a crush on didn't like me. Occasionally they're my coworkers--like my work wife who dares to try pole dancing with me.  And every once in a while it's somebody completely new, someone I least expect who surprises me with the ability understand my most far off dreams.

I treasure those connections. We all should.

In our busy lives, we often forget to nurture those relationships. We get sidetracked with work and errands and emails and stress. We forget that in the end, all of those things don't matter. In the end, what we are left with is memories and love.

I recently missed an opportunity to make a beautiful memory with a great friend.  And now I'm looking back thinking--what the heck was I thinking? I should have jumped at the opportunity, engulfed myself in it, drank it in. I let being practical outweigh whimsical.

Yes, occasionally, there is a place for practical. But whimsical is more fun. And I vote for fun! So in the future, when someone says, you want to make a memory? I'm not just going to say yes, I'm going to say hell yes!

So in the spirit of making memories, here's my song of the week (one of my absolute favorites). Did I also mention Bon Jovi is coming here in concert? I'm SO excited! I'm going this time - no matter who I have to drag with me! (Seriously, watch the video...it'll break your heart and give you the best reason to keep making those memories.)

(You Want To) Make A Memory
Bon Jovi

Hello again, it's you and me

Kinda always like it used to be
Sippin' wine, killing time
Trying to solve life's mysteries

How's your life, it's been awhile?
God it's good to see you smile
I see you reaching for your keys
Looking for a reason not to leave

If you don't know if you should stay
If you don't say what's on your mind
Just breathe
There's nowhere else tonight we should be

You wanna make a memory?

I dug up this old photograph
Look at all that hair we had
It's bitter sweet to hear you laugh
Your phone is ringin I don't wanna ask

If you go now, I'll understand
If you stay, hey, I got a plan

You wanna make a memory?
You wanna steal a piece of time?
You can sing the melody to me
And I could write a couple lines
You wanna make a memory?

If you don't know if you should stay
And you don't say what's on your mind
Just breathe
there's nowhere else tonight we should be

You wanna make a memory?
You wanna steal a piece of time?
You can sing the melody to me
And I can write a couple lines

You wanna make a memory?

Stepping Outside the Box

2009-11-11T09:59:00.000-08:00

I am so excited to tell you that my friend, Mireya, has decided to join me in making this year (and the next, since this one's almost over) our year for taking chances. Yeah--I have a partner in crime!

So what does this mean?

Remember last week when I read the article on Oprah's website about stepping out of your box? And I said I was in the mood to do something daring? Well, I mentioned this to Mireya, and she thought it was a fabulous idea! We've started a list of the things we're going to do this year.

Here's a peak:

Take a pole dancing class
Go rock climbing
Get boudoir pictures taken
Go skinny dipping
Take snowboarding lessons
Go sky diving (okay, this one is Mireya's--I'm not sure I would ever be capable of this. But if I ever find the strength, Angela will be there too. These crazy ladies and their need to jump out of planes!)

And these things don't exactly make the list of 'stepping out of the box', but we're also taking a photography class, taking a cooking class and planning a kick butt Christmas party.

Ooh, and I'm in the middle of updating my (awesome) bucket list. Yeah! This is so fun! I can't wait to get started on all this stuff. Some of it's already in the works. And I promise...I'll be blogging about it.

We need more things to add to our list. We totally want to step out of our box this year and show the world that your 30's rock! Do you have any ideas? If you do, let me know. I would love to hear them!

Anonymity

2009-11-10T14:06:00.000-08:00

I had a bad day yesterday. It was the perfect storm of work crises and personal let downs forming a swirling mess of leaves and wind blowing through my mind. And I wanted to write about it. I needed to get it out - in detail.

There's just one problem--I don't want a coworker, a boss, a future employer to come across my blog one day and be like, hey--we need to do something about this 'problem'. So I didn't write. I didn't get it out. My poor fiance had to listen to me whine half the night all the while assuring me everything will be okay. He's amazing about that. And I love him for it. But sometimes, I just want to write. And lord knows why, but I like writing these personal things on my blog. It's nice to know there's someone out there that might just get what I'm talking about.

I've been thinking about this issue a while now, as my blog hits have increased (woohoo!) and I've started writing with more honesty. Hence, I've written things that I am thrilled to share; though, perhaps not with those I mentioned above. As much as I believe we should all say what we need to say, there unfortunately remains a line in my life that is better left uncrossed. Employers don't like to be criticized for all the world to see.

So I made a decision. I want to keep my blog honest, open and authentically me. The best way to do this so that I don't end up censoring myself, is to take down the personal identifiers. So I'm planning a redesign! I'm going to use my art, my writing and my creativity to make this blog an absolute honest representation of who I am (just without those identifying details flying around). It'll probably take a few weeks to finish, but it's going to be a fun project!

And I totally want my friends, family and everyone else to keep reading. I want you all to know every bit of who I am. Perhaps when I leave the rat race (soon, with some luck!), I'll be able to go back to being carefree, face-on-the-front-page me. Until then, here's to my future writings being honest, open and totally uncensored!

Every Monday Matters: Send a Note of Gratitude

2009-11-09T11:25:00.000-08:00

When I was a kid, I would roller skate up and down the street waiting for the mailman to come. I'm not sure why. Rarely was there ever any mail for me. But the anticipation of what might be there--a letter, a package, a card--well, it was pretty exciting.

Now that I'm an adult, I don't don the roller skates or camp out by the mail box. But I do still hope to get something fun in the mail each time I retrieve it. Usually, it's nothing but advertisements and the occasional bill--nothing fun there.

So in the spirit of fun mail, today's Every Monday Matters exercise is simply to write and mail a note of gratitude.

With email, text messaging and cell phones, the old fashioned letter has kind of been kicked to the curb. Sure, it takes a little extra time to handwrite a note and mail it. But that's part of what makes it special to receive--you know someone took a little extra time to do something nice for you.

So choose a person you think might need a little cheering--a friend, a co-worker, a family member or maybe just someone you haven't talked to in a while. Grab a postcard, a card or some letter paper, and write something thoughtful to that person. Perhaps, thank them for what they bring to your life, give them encouragement, or update them on what's happening in your life--whatever you're inspired to write at that moment. Throw in a picture, draw a cute cartoon on the envelope, seal it with a sticker (or a kiss)--and mail it off today.

Everyone deserves a little pick-me-up now and then, and this is a simple way to put a smile on your friend's face!

Say What You Need to Say

2009-11-05T12:05:00.000-08:00

I have this thing with being shy. Well--I guess I don’t really have a thing with it, I just am. I’m trying to step out of that role and be more assertive and open with people. For me, this is seriously tough! But I’m making progress, and I’m pretty excited about that.

Much of my shyness comes from being an over-thinker. Those of you out there like this--you totally know what I mean. I overthink absolutely everything in my life, including what I say. By the time I get a sentence out, it’s probably gone through five revisions. This may be okay at times, but in the long run, the only thing it does is make me miss out on half the conversation. Either I’m talking to you not listening because I’m thinking about what I’m going to say next, or I’m not saying what I really want to say, and we end up having a totally different conversation that we would be if I were just more open.

Granted, I’m not shy with everyone. Every once in a while, a person comes along that I totally relate to, someone I feel I can talk to about anything. With these people, I totally open up. Like when I first met Steven and we talked for six hours about everything and anything. I mentioned to him that I tend to be shy, and he laughed and didn’t believe me.

Now I’m trying to figure out how to be that way with everyone, how to let go of the fear that I’m going to say the wrong thing. This blog definitely helps. I’m not shy when I write and am happy to say whatever darn thing is on my mind. Perhaps this is because when I write I’m not looking at you, wondering what you’re going to think about my thoughts.

Life is too short to hold back and worry about what other people are going to think of you. My goal: be honest, be open, and be authentically me.

All this brings me to my song of the week--John Mayer, Say. (It also happens to be on the soundtrack of the Bucket List, which totally inspired me to write my own bucket list. How cool is that?)

Say
John Mayer

Take all of your wasted honor
Every little past frustration
Take all of your so-called problems,
Better put ‘em in quotations

Say what you need to say

Walking like a one man army
Fighting with the shadows in your head
Living out the same old moment
Knowing you’d be better off instead,
If you could only . . .

Say what you need to say

Have no fear for giving in
Have no fear for giving over
You’d better know that in the end
Its better to say too much
Then never say what you need to say again

Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open

Say what you need to say

A Little Inspiration

2009-11-04T12:25:00.000-08:00

Do you ever read something that somehow just speaks to you? I came across this quote today, and I'm loving it!

"You've been walking in circles, searching. Don't drink by the water's edge. Throw yourself in. Become the water. Only then will your thirst end."
~ Jeanette Berson

I also read this article on Oprah's website about stepping out of your box. I'm totally inspired to do something daring and out of my comfort zone. Now I just have to figure out what that is. Any ideas out there?

It's Getting Harder and Harder to Fake It

2009-11-03T10:45:00.000-08:00

I’ve noticed something lately. I used to be a very agreeable person. I would smile and pretend to be interested in what people were saying even when those things were beyond my curiosity. I would pretend to be excited about a project at work simply because showing enthusiasm was seen as a good thing. I would stay friends with someone I had outgrown for the purpose of not hurting their feelings. But lately--it’s getting harder and harder to fake it.

I’ve stopped caring to impress everyone. Perhaps I’m losing my political correctness. And I think that’s a good thing! I am who I am. You can like it or leave it. This is me. And by the way, I absolutely love the person I have become. It’s totally okay if you don’t. We should all strive to feel this way. It’s freeing.

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In the spirit of celebrating everything that’s me, I’ll let you in on who I am (even if just a little):

I’m a raging liberal.  I think capitalism has its place, yet socialism doesn’t scare me.  I have no religious beliefs, not even one.  I love spending time alone to read or write or make art.  I hate my job. I wish every day that I could walk out without stopping to turn the lights off.  I love to travel. If I spent the rest of my days trekking across the globe, I think I would be immeasurably happy.  I worry too much about money. These worries keep me from spending my days trekking. I think most of my worries about money are stupid. Yet, they still stop me from doing things.  I wouldn’t say I have a lot of friends, though I do have a few very close friends. My close friends know who I truly am. Most other people don’t (unless, perhaps, you read my blog--in which case, you probably know more than most).  I tend to be shy, but get to know me and you’ll wonder who that shy person ever was.  I want to be more daring and take more risks.  I’m an unapologetic neat freak.  I love to decorate and dream of having a place of my own. Even if it’s tiny, it’ll look like it stepped out of a magazine spread.  An old friend once told me I’m high maintenance. I disagreed saying I don’t need people to buy me things. He said, true--but you need a lot of attention. He knew me well.  I think most people care too much about things that don’t matter, then let the things that do matter pass them by.  I struggle between wanting a successful career and pushing it all to the side to do what I really want.  I think people find it easier to lie to themselves about what makes them happy than to spend the time finding out what actually does.  I only want one child. I don’t want one right now. By the time I’m ready, it may well be too late. In which case, I would happy to adopt a baby that needs a home.  I believe brutal honesty is the only way to make a relationship work--at least in the long run (in the short run, great sex is always a fun alternative).  Sometimes I think I’m lucky to have such a beautiful life. Other times, I think luck had nothing to do with it, I just made good decisions.  I think education is key to success. I don’t define success by societal standards.  I love with passion and likely sometimes love too much. But is there really such thing as loving a person too much? I think not.

Every Monday Matters: Cut the Fast Food

2009-11-02T10:12:00.000-08:00

This week with Every Monday Matters, I'm talking about something that's near and dear to my heart: fast food. Yes, I know--it's terrible. It's one of those habits you hate to have but that's so incredibly hard to break.

All in all, I would consider myself a pretty healthy person. I eat right (most of the time), I exercise, I try to take time to unwind and relax, I try to make time for fun. And since I've switched to this mostly vegetarian lifestyle, I must say, my body totally agrees with it. The only time I eat meat is when, you guessed it, I'm craving fast food. This generally equates to once a week. I would like to cut this habit all together. The health benefits of not eating fast food are immense. And, yet, there I am after a long day, standing in line for a burger with the rest of the weaklings.

So this week, I would like to urge you all to cut the fast food. For the remainder of the week, don't eat any. That's the goal I've set for myself.

To nudge you along, here are some stats from the EMM website:

$180 billion is spent every year on fast food, compared to $6 billion in 1970.
Over 50% of the U.S. population eats fast food once a week, with 20% eating fast food at least every other day.
30% of children’s meals consist of fast food.
24% of high schools offer popular fast-food brands.
More than 1 in 5 children between the ages of 6 and 17 are overweight.
There is a 79% likelihood of adult obesity if a person is overweight during adolescence.
Large portions, value meals, and supersizing create serving sizes that are double and triple the recommended daily allowance.
Billions of dollars are spent each year on fast-food advertising specifically targeted at children.

And here are some things you can do to stop these startling trends:

Don’t eat fast food today. (I suggest you don't eat it for the remainder of the week.)
Start the habit of switching one fast-food meal per week to a healthier alternative.
On days you do break down and eat fast food, ask for the small size.
Never supersize your meal. The price and value may be tempting, but your health pays the greatest price.
Plan your meals at least a few days in advance.
Go to the store and buy fresh or organic food.
Pack a healthy lunch or cook dinner at home today.

Always remember, your health matters. Each time you eat fast food, you significantly increase your intake of unhealthy fat and calories. Take a little time out of each week to plan your meals. Even if you dine alone, it can be simple to make a fast and healthy meal - it just takes a little practice. Fast food may save minutes in your day, but it takes years off your life--most chains don’t advertise that on their “value” menu.

Happy Halloween!

2009-10-30T11:05:00.000-07:00

I'm being lazy today with my writing, but I wanted to be sure to check in and wish you all a Happy Halloween! Do you have anything exciting planned? I'm dressing up this year--and am so excited about it (that is, if the weather cooperates with me). I had this great idea to go as a vintage Hawaiian pin-up girl. Of course, that was last week when it was ninety degrees outside. It's kind of chilly today, and I'm afraid I might end up with some unplanned blue fingers and toes in that skimpy little outfit. We'll see how it goes. Also, I just heard my friend is planning to give out toothbrushes and dental floss instead of candy to her neighborhood kids. Her husband is worried she's going to get their house TP'd. Haha. I can't stop laughing.

Happy Halloween

How to Have it All

2009-10-28T10:41:00.000-07:00

Quarter life criss, mid-life crisis, 30-something angst. A whole lot of people I know are going through something ‘crisis-like’, me included. We have this idea in our minds that there has to be more to life--we could accomplish more, do more, be more. We believe we can have it all. Too bad none of us knows how to get it all.

I couldn’t possibly cover this issue in one post (nor do I have the wisdom to do so). But here’s one thought I have about what the problem is. Many of us were raised to believe that one day we will hit the magic point in life. At this magic point, we will have everything we want--then we will stop wanting, stop craving more. We will simply be happy, sit back to view all we have accomplished and enjoy all that our hard work has delivered.

We get a respectable job, a new car, perhaps a new house, we have a loving partner and a maybe even a couple of kids. Life is good. We have all the things that are supposed to bring us to this magic point. But--WAIT--something’s not right! We’re not completely content. We still want more. We still want to accomplish more and do more and be more. We’re not sure we like our job, and half the time our kids drive us insane. Our partner wants to have sex too often--or not enough. Our house is too small, and that supposedly great car is in constant need of maintenance. WHAT? But we did everything right! Thus, we decide something is wrong and enter crisis mode. We start thinking we made a wrong turn somewhere and this must be corrected.

And therein lays the problem. We assume we did something wrong. The fact is, we did nothing wrong. We made decisions that were right for us at the time. Life is like water that ebbs and flows. Quite simply, life changes--and so do we. The idea that at some point in life we will simply stop and be content--well, it’s insane.

There is no magic point. We should all do ourselves a favor and stop trying to reach it. This does not at all mean we shouldn’t strive to reach our goals and dreams. We absolutely should! However, we should stop thinking that once we reach them, we’ll finally be happy. The reality is, when we reach one goal, we’ll just find something else to replace it. Or perhaps we won’t reach that first goal at all. At which point, we’ll decide to strive for something totally different. This is exactly how it should be. This is the beauty in life. It is a never ending ocean of possibilities.

So here’s what I suggest: when you start to feel that life isn’t going as you would like, don’t think of this as a crisis. Rather, consider it a good time to stop and take a look at what you’re doing. Evaluate, communicate and be brutally honest--with yourself and with others. Consider where you’re at and what you really want--at this moment. Seek to be happy in the here and now. Perhaps what makes you happy today won’t be the same thing that makes you happy a year from now--that’s fabulous news! Celebrate the fact that life will bring you so many diverse experiences. Find what makes you happy in this moment. Do that. Be happy with that.

Make yourself happy. Make others happy. Do good things. Do crazy things. Do ridiculous things. Simply live.

I'm Ready to Take a Leap of Faith

2009-10-27T10:32:00.000-07:00

“Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.” --Oscar Wilde

I’ve made a decision today that I feel amazingly good about.

I’m leaving my job. Well, sort of--maybe--not exactly. I suppose it all depends. But here’s the scoop. For a long time, I’ve been unhappy with my work situation. I’ve felt my 9 to 5 sucking the life out of me, and I’ve wanted something different, something inspiring. I wasn’t exactly sure what that looked like, so I continued on the path that I’ve been on--going to work, coming home, bitching about it. I’ve listened to all the well intentioned advice of friends and family, most of which told me I was lucky to have a job in this economic climate and should simply stop complaining. Well, if that works for them, great. It doesn’t work for me. And I’m so damn tired of doing what other people think is good for me.

Steven and I have a plan. When he comes back from Kentucky and is signed out of the Army, I’m quitting my job. I’m a little afraid things might not work out as planned, and I’ll end up staying because I feel we need the money or we don’t move as quickly as we would like. So I’ve come up with Plan B, one that doesn’t depend on anything happening or working out in any particular way. The only thing required of this plan is that I do it. Here it is: On December 1, I’m telling my job that I want to cut my hours to part time. If they’re not okay with that, I’m leaving. I’ll find some other place that does want me to work part time. Or I’ll find freelance work. Either way, by January 1, I will either not be working with my current organization or I’ll only be working there part time.

I want time to focus on my writing and I want to do work dealing with women’s issues. Sitting in this cubicle will never get me there. It’s time for me to take a leap of faith and dive in. I was listening to Robin Roberts at The Women’s Conference this morning. She said if you’re waiting for fear to subside, you’re going to be waiting a long time. Wow, hit’s the nail on the head. Of course I’m scared. But that’s no reason give up my dreams before I even try. In order to have great success, you have to take great chances, you have to be willing to fail. I’m finally at a place where I’m willing to risk it. And it feels amazing.

Every Monday Matters: Donate Books

2009-10-26T16:24:00.000-07:00

I’ve attempted to psych myself up all day to write Every Monday Matters. After all, shouldn’t I be in a good mood while I write this feel good stuff? Well, that’s just not going to happen. My Monday started out kind of icky, and it looks like it’s going to stay that way. For instance, I woke up with a migraine. Because of the migraine, I was running too late to ride my bike to work (and honestly didn’t want to feel my brain bounce around while I pedaled). So I drove. I got to work, found out one of my co-workers used my company credit card without asking me (ugh!) and later realized I had forgotten to hang my parking pass and was probably going to get a ticket. The good news? I ran outside to find my car was not ticketed before I had the opportunity to hang the placard. Heck, that’s something—right? Nonetheless, I’m still in a bit of a funk. What can you do? Sometimes these things happen.

But, hey—it’s Monday. And Every Monday Matters, right? This week, I suggest you donate books.

This is such a simple thing to do, and yet many of us collect books on our shelves that we never plan to read again. Perhaps we think it looks studious (guilty) or we’re just too lazy to go through them. Whatever your reason, it’s time to clean out the clutter and get rid of some of those old books. Someone else can use them. The purpose is two-fold: 1. sharing books saves trees, and 2. sharing books helps promote literacy.

Here are some interesting facts you might not know (from the EMM website):

61% of low-income families in the U.S. have no books in their homes for their children.
43% of adults with the lowest level of literacy proficiency live in poverty.
Only 4% of adults with strong literacy skills live in poverty.
55% of children have an increased interest in reading when given books at an early age.
Children with a greater variety of reading material in the home are more creative, imaginative, and proficient in reading. They are also on a better path toward educational growth and development.
There is only 1 age-appropriate book for every 300 children in low-income neighborhoods compared to 13 books per child in middle-income neighborhoods.

Those statistics make you want to help, don’t they? Well, here’s what you can do:

Go through your bookshelves and pull out books that you will never read again or have owned for more than 2 years and haven’t read yet.
Pack the books in a box.
Call your local library, school, foster home, or children’s organization to see if they need books.
Deliver the books.
If you can't find a local place to donate, pack and mail your quality used books to a U.S. organization.
If you don’t have any books at home, purchase some to donate or find an organization that accepts financial donations and will purchase books and deliver them where they are needed.

Remember, having access to books is the key to literacy. Be a part of the solution, and donate your used books today!

(Hey, writing that seriously improved my mood. What do you know—every Monday does matter.)

Food for Thought

2009-10-24T08:00:00.000-07:00

I don't generally post on Saturdays. Everyone deserves a day off (or two or three), even when the work is for fun. So don't get used to this!

I was reading last night and came across a letter Vincent Van Gogh wrote to his brother. I was struck by a portion of the letter that I wanted to share with you. Rather than discuss the meaning I drew from this, I will let you interpret it for yourself.

"...A caged bird in spring knows quite well that he might serve some end; he feels quite well that there is something for him to do, but he cannot do it. What is it? He does not remember quite well. Then he has some vague ideas and says to himself: 'the others make their nests and lay their eggs and bring up their little ones,' and then he knocks his head against the bars of the cage. But the cage stands there and the bird is maddened by anguish.

"'Look at that lazy animal,' says another bird that passes by, 'he seems to be living at his ease.' Yes, the prisoner lives, his health is good, he is more or less gay when the sun shines. But then comes the season of migration. Attacks of melancholia,--'but he has got everything he wants,' say the children that tend him in his cage. He looks at the overcast sky and he inwardly rebels against his fate. 'I am caged, I am caged, and you tell me I do not want anything, fools! You think I have everything I need. Oh, I beseech you, liberty, to be a bird like other birds!'

"A certain idle man resembles this bird...A just or unjustly ruined reputation, poverty, fatal circumstances, adversity, that is what makes men prisoners...Do you know what frees one from this captivity? It is very deep, serious affection. Being friends, being brothers, love, that is what opens the prison by supreme power, by some magic force. But without this one remains in prison."
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Just some food for thought--enjoy your weekend!

Mid-Week Getaway

2009-10-23T06:07:00.000-07:00

On Wednesday, I took off to Corona with my friend, Mireya, and we had a total girlie, spa day. It was fabulous! Seriously, we should all do this every once in a while (I vote we do it more often than that, even).

We went to Glen Ivy Hot Springs Spa. It's one of those places where you can spend the entire day--laying out at the pool, soaking in the mineral waters, rubbing red clay all over you to 'draw out the impurities'. Mireya and I had heard the mid-week crowd is much smaller, so we arranged to take a vacation day from our 9 to 5, and we were off. We both had wondered if we would stay the whole day--after all, weren't we likely to check out a few areas, then get bored and be ready to leave? Absolutely not! When closing time at the spa rolled around, we were both surprised the day had gone by so fast. We talked, we laughed--we likely annoyed a few of the 'quieter' visitors. The point is, we had an awesome time.

I'm all about long vacations and taking time to get away from work. But I also think there is something to be said for those quick mid-week getaways or tacking an extra day or two onto your weekend. It is always good to rejuvenate in the midst of a hectic week (or if you're like me, a boring week). Do you have any ideas for other day trips or mid-week getaways? I'm always up for suggestions!

Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide

2009-10-22T09:51:00.000-07:00

I recently read the book Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide by Nicholas Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn. It was phenomenal! I honestly think everyone should read this book. The stories will open your eyes to a world beyond ours. You will be faced with women's stories that you find difficult to comprehend and often painful to read. It is disturbing, yes. But it is also necessary that these stories be told. The authors delve into the realm of child prostitution, war crimes against women, maternal and child health issues and much more. Perhaps more important, are the stories of women who have endured such pain yet have overcome these obstacles to do great things--open schools, medical centers and support organizations that help pull not only themselves out of poverty and oppression but also those around them.

The title Half the Sky comes from the Chinese proverb that "women hold up half the sky." The authors contend that perhaps peoples that devalue women are not only doing a moral injustice but also an economic one. Women are half the population (often more so). By oppressing half of the population in any one area, that area is losing out on important societal contributions, including monetary ones, that could be made by women.

Read the book. You will find it difficult to put down. You will find it even more difficult to do nothing after you read it.

Song of the Week and a Little about Love

2009-10-20T08:00:00.000-07:00

I've been on this whole music kick lately. I love music--and every once in a while I start listening to songs that totally inspire me. Often, that inspiration comes in the form of Bon Jovi. Crazy, I know. I'm totally a pop princess (did I really just say that?), yet my guilty pleasure--and let's be honest, I totally don't feel guilty about it--is 80's hair bands. I'm not sure when my love for bands like Bon Jovi, Aerosmith and Def Leopard actually came to fruition, but somewhere between fifth grade and senior year, I fell for them.

And speaking of love, that's the theme of this week's song. You see, I've been thinking about love a lot lately. Isn't that what life is all about--giving love, getting love, sharing love? That's what I think anyhow. It all comes down to love.

Somewhere between childhood and high school, I think most of us learned not to throw the word 'love' around too loosely. It's one of those special words, reserved for those most special to us. In some ways, that's true. But wouldn't it be amazing if we felt like we could freely tell everyone who means something amazing to us that we love them? As a woman, I think this idea is more accepted. My girlfriends tell me they love me all the time, and I do the same. But with men, it seems a bit different. If a woman says she loves a guy for the first time, he either runs the other way ('cause, damn, this is getting too serious) or he starts thinking about commitment. And between two men? Well--they're lucky if they can get out an, "I love you, man" with a straight face. But what if the word love didn't equate to commitment? What if it didn't mean you're too soft? Perhaps we should just let it mean what it is.

What am I getting at here? I think we should love more freely--be more open to receiving love, to giving love, to sharing love. To fully experience life, fully experience love.

Now, let's see if I can take my own advice on this one. I'll be sure to let you know how that goes.

In the mean time--I'll get off my rambling soap box and share with you the song of the week (and I'll hope I will have made at least a little sense in this post). So here it is--Bon Jovi, Thank You for Loving Me ('cause for all those special in my life--I love you, I really do.)

Thank You for Loving Me

Bon Jovi

It's hard for me to say the things
I want to say sometimes
There's no one here but you and me
And that broken old street light

Lock the doors
We'll leave the world outside
All I've got to give to you
Are these five words when I

Thank you for loving me
For being my eyes when I couldn't see for
Parting my lips when I couldn't breathe
Thank you for loving me
Thank you for loving me

I never knew I had a dream
Until that dream was you
When I look into your eyes
The sky's a different blue

Cross my heart
I wear no disguise
If I tried, you'd make believe
That you believed my lies

Thank you for loving me
For being my eyes when I couldn't see
For parting my lips when I couldn't breathe
Thank you for loving me

You pick me up when I fall down
You ring the bell before they count me out
If I was drowning you would part the sea
And risk your own life to rescue me

Lock the doors
Leave the world outside
All I've got to give to you
Are these five words when I

Thank you for loving me
For being my eyes when I couldn't see
You parted my lips when I couldn't breathe
Thank you for loving me

When I couldn't fly
You gave me wings
You parted my lips when I couldn't breathe
Thank you for loving me

Thank you for loving me
Thank you for loving me
For loving me

Rambling Along

2009-10-19T13:21:00.000-07:00

Wow--I can't seem to get my mind to focus on much of anything today. I'm having the hardest time at work in my attempts to actually get something accomplished. I have all this pent up energy and yet don't seem to want to use it toward anything productive. Sometimes you just have to give in to your childlike tendency to have fun--with no particular goal or destination in mind. So that's what I'm doing today. Well--sort of. I mean, if I were really giving in to that need for fun, I would have played hookie and spent the day shopping for sexy lingerie or hanging out with other friends also playing hookie or baking those chocolate chip cupcakes I've had my eye on. But I played the responsible role and showed up for work. Such a bummer--sometimes I rather dislike being a grown up!

I know, I know--today is supposed to be Every Monday Matters day, not Heather's day to ramble. But I can't help myself. lol.

Ooh, I did something really fun over the weekend! I can't tell you what it was because it has something to do with a certain someone's birthday present--and I wouldn't want to spoil the surprise by posting about it on my blog. But I'm quite proud of myself--I've become a lot more daring than I once was. Perhaps that comes with age? More to come on this topic...

Off on another tangent--I watched the TV show 'Cougar Town' over the weekend. Hillarious! Though I'm a bit disturbed that I can totally relate to the main character that's supposed to be a forty year old divorcee--mind you, not the divorced part or anything, just her personality. Anyhow, the show is funny, totally not serious about anything--and there's this super cute neighbor (played by Grayson Ellis) that makes it worth the watch.

Okay--that's all the rambling I'm going to do today! I hope you all have a fabulous Monday--and perhaps a more productive one than I seem to be having!

Weekly Writing Roundup

2009-10-16T11:44:00.000-07:00

I've been working a lot on my writing (and doing a ton of reading about writing), so I thought this would be a good time to introduce a new weekly post.

Eventually, I'm going to fine-tune this blog to talk about just the few topics I care about most (rather than ramble on about any thought that comes to my mind). It'll happen one of these days. I'm not quite there yet – but writing is definitely one of those topics. Anyhow, I digress.

The point is – I'm introducing a new weekly post. It's going to be a weekly update on my writing progress. You see, I'm searching for a writing partner - someone that I can either meet with or email with once a week to talk about the progress I've made and new ideas I’m working with. Occasionally, that person would also critique my work. Of course, I would do the same for them in return. I haven't found that person yet (it's harder than you would think to get someone to make a commitment). In the mean time, I want to hold myself accountable to reach my weekly goals. One way I've decided to this is to post updates about the progress I've made every week. I'll let the fear of having to write that I accomplished nothing be my motivator. (Also, if you’re interested in being my writing partner or know someone who might be – leave me a comment, and we’ll get in touch!)

So here's where I'm at this week:

The book I'm currently working on is a novel. It doesn't have a name yet, so I've taken to calling it by the name of the main character, Elle Cavanagh. That's what I'll call it here - or maybe just Elle for short. Anyhow, I'm a little more than 3/4 through the first draft. It's partially written on notebook paper, partially typed. (I really need to sit down and type up the notebook paper parts.) Because of this, I don't have an accurate page count. If I had to guess, I'd think it's somewhere between 200-250 pages typed. I'm in the home stretch really. But here's my problem: in the process of learning about novel structure, plotting and all that good stuff, I realized there are some BIG changes I want to make to the skeleton of the story. This week, I've been working on plotting, sketching each chapter, creating the timeline - basically figuring out where my story is and where it needs to be. So here's my question (I've been struggling with this for two weeks, and I seem to change my mind as the wind blows): given that I'm so far into the book, do I keep writing and finish the first draft just to have that complete? Or, being that I know I want to re-work a large part of the book, do I start reworking and then write the last part when I get there? (Seriously, if you have any suggestions on this, please leave a comment - I'm totally stuck here!)

I've read a lot of authors that suggest you finish the first draft in its entirety, then rewrite. This makes total sense, and normally I would agree without hesitation. I'm just concerned that I'm going to be changing so much, it will likely change the end, and I'll have to rewrite that whole part anyway. Of course, the more you practice, revise and rewrite, the better the story will get – so which is the better way?

All I know is I need to make a decision and go with it. This has slowed me down! And I want to move forward and feel like I'm making progress again. Any thoughts out there?

Blog Action Day 2009: What YOU Can Do to Prevent Climate Change

2009-10-15T12:46:00.000-07:00

“The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” – Lao-tzu

The problem is massive. To most of us, climate change is so vast and so large an issue that it’s hard to imagine doing one small thing will really make a difference. But if no one takes the first step, how will we ever come together to make immense change?

If each person in the United States committed to just one small change this year, that would equate to over 307,000,000 positive impacts.

So for Blog Action Day 2009, here’s what I’m proposing: Let’s commit to making at least one small change this year. Choose an item from the list below (or come up with your own idea) and run with it! Tell your neighbors, tell your friends, tell your children – lead by example.

Here are ways you can help prevent climate change (adapted from Scientific American):

Move Closer to Work. Transportation is the second leading cause of greenhouse emissions in the U.S. If we all drove less, we could make a HUGE difference. I’m lucky with this one. I purposely took a job that is less than two miles from my house, and I LOVE it! Most days, I bike to work. The days I do drive, well – it’s a five minute drive. That keeps my emissions to a minimum. Aside from the environmental goodness of this idea, it also makes a life a lot easier – no more sitting in rush hour traffic, wishing I were at home! No way you can move in this economy? Then buy a bike (or just a pair of sneakers). Instead of driving to the corner store, bike or walk. It’s good your waistline and the world.
Consume Less. Yep, that’s right – if you buy less stuff, you’re helping the environment (granted, the economy might not love you – but don’t you think it’s time we Americans learned to save rather than spend?). By consuming less, fewer fossil fuels are burned to extract, produce and ship products around the world. This can be as simple as using reusable grocery bags. That means less bags need to be made – less end up in landfills and oceans. I keep five reusable grocery bags in the trunk of my car (and one in the front seat for a quick grab). Not only are they good for the environment, but they’re also super convenient. Most reusable bags hold a lot more than your typical plastic bag, and they can be slung over your shoulder for easier carrying. Seriously, it’s a win-win.
Be Efficient. Americans are known to be huge wasters of energy. Make a commitment not to waste so much. This can be as simple as turning off the lights when you’re not in the room. Even better, the next time a bulb burns out, replace it with a compact fluorescent light bulb. They take less energy to operate, last longer and save you money! I’ve replaced all the lights in my house with energy efficient bulbs. It’s good for my pocketbook and good for the Earth.
Eat Less Meat. That’s right, I said it (let’s hope the cattle industry doesn’t sue me). But the truth is, acres of feed have to be grown to feed the cows, chickens and pigs that we then eat. It takes far less land to grow crops for us humans to eat than to grow crops to feed the livestock that we eat. Research estimates that meat-eating Americans produce 1.5 tons more greenhouse gases than their vegetarian peers. Not ready to go meatless? Pick just one day a week to be vegetarian. Every step makes a difference! This one’s good for our world and your health. Again, a win-win.
Unplug. Did you know Americans spend more money on appliances that are turned off than those that are turned on? That’s right! When you turn off your television or other techie gadget that’s plugged into the wall, it still might be sucking energy (and money from your pocketbook). The best way to avoid this? Unplug your devices when they’re not in use. I tried to do this and found it a pain in the bootie to go around plugging in and unplugging every single item in my house. So I picked the top spots for electronics and invested in surge protectors. I have one for the TV/stereo area and one for the computer area. When not in use, I simply turn the surge protector to the off position.

So there you have it – a handful of simple ways you can lessen your impact on the environment. Pick one – and stick to it! Heck, pick all of them if you want to. Do something good today. You won’t regret it.

Amazing

2009-10-14T08:00:00.000-07:00

Isn't it amazing how a piece of music can so totally capture a feeling or a mood? How a song can describe with precision your feelings about an event in your life?

A dear friend of mine has gone through some pretty traumatic times. She's made the decision to become a single mom and raise her two girls on her own. She had one hell of a time getting to this point. But in the end, she's happy and excited for the life that is and is to come.

The other day, she was driving down the freeway after work, listening to the radio. An old song by Aerosmith came on. The song so perfectly captured her feelings about her situation, she burst into tears (tears of joy).

So, Lisa, this one's for you. I love this song too! You've just gotta love Aerosmith.

Amazing

by Aerosmith

I kept the right ones out
And let the wrong ones in
Had an angel of mercy to see me through all my sins
There were times in my life
When I was goin' insane
Tryin' to walk through
The pain
When I lost my grip
And I hit the floor
Yeah,I thought I could leave but couldn't get out the door
I was so sick and tired
Of livin' a lie
I was wishin that I
Would die

[Chorus:]
It's Amazing
With the blink of an eye you finally see the light
It's Amazing
When the moment arrives that you know you'll be alright
It's Amazing
And I'm sayin' a prayer for the desperate hearts tonight

That one last shot's a Permanent Vacation
And how high can you fly with broken wings?
Life's a journey not a destination
And I just can't tell just what tomorrow brings

You have to learn to crawl
Before you learn to walk
But I just couldn't listen to all that righteous talk, oh yeah
I was out on the street,
Just tryin' to survive
Scratchin' to stay
Alive
[Chorus]

Desperate hearts, desperate hearts

Vegas, Baby!

2009-10-13T13:46:00.000-07:00

No, I wasn’t I wasn’t in Vegas drinking and gambling (though I’ve always wondered how different the place would be if I were a tourist).

I went to Las Vegas this weekend to visit my family – I grew up there. Even though I live fairly close, the drive sucks. I don’t visit as often as I should (or would like), so I took advantage of some free time this weekend and headed out. The weekend flew by, and it was a fun couple of days! (Though I wish I’d had more time to see everyone.)

I headed out on Saturday morning and arrived at my grandparent’s house around noon. I chatted and caught up with them the next few hours, then headed over to my sister-in-law’s house for some girl talk and appetizers. I took a moment to raid her closet and admire her burgeoning shoe collection. I even walked away with a fabulous new pair of my own – super cute, peep toe, patent leather, wedge Mary Jane’s. You’ve got to love 'em!

After a full dose of girl talk, I headed to my brother’s house to hang out with him and his girlfriend – and my absolute favorite niece and nephew in the world. (Okay, so they’re my only niece and nephew, but even if they weren’t, they would still be my favorites!) You have to agree; they are adorable. We played golf (or something like it) in the backyard, then headed to Buffalo Wild Wings for what else…but wings. Okay, I actually had a veggie burger, but everyone else had wings. The kids serenaded me with their rendition of “Low” (Flow Rida featuring T-Pain). Apparently, these eight and four year olds keep up with their hip-hop. We went back to their house for ice cream cones before the kids were off to bed. I chatted with Trevor and Brandy for a while, then realized I was late to meet my friend, Lisa, for her celebration of returning to singlehood. I threw on something other than my blue velour sweats and rushed off to meet her.

When I arrived at the bar, Lisa was d-runk. It was fabulous and too funny, and we had a great time catching up. After Dick’s we headed to Susan’s house and spent the rest of the night chatting. I got back to my grandparent’s house way late and crashed in bed after tip-toeing into the house in an attempt not to wake anyone up (I don’t think I succeeded).

Sunday morning I spent talking with my grandparents. I don’t get to talk with them near enough, and it was great to catch up. I was supposed to visit my friend, Carrie, but the time flew by, and before I knew it, it was time to drive home. (Carrie, I promise to make this up to you next time!)

I was so tired when I got home, I nearly fell asleep waiting in line at the grocery store. What a busy but fabulous weekend!

Every Monday Matters: Turn Off the TV

2009-10-12T09:46:00.000-07:00

70% of people say that no matter how hard they try, they never seem to have enough time to do everything they need to do. Are you part of that 70%?

I am.

I have a long to-do list (not an errand-running to-do list, rather an ‘I actually want to accomplish these things’ to-do list). For instance, I wish I had more time to devote to writing. I wish I had more time to read. I wish Steven and I spent more quality time together.

When I look at ways I spend my time, my first thought is, if only I could cut out work. That would free up eight hours, and I could accomplish all the things on my list! Then reality sets in, and I realize I have to pay the rent. For now, at least, I have to keep going to work.

So what else is there? That’s where today’s Every Monday Matters idea comes into play. Just for today, turn off the TV.

Here are some facts about TV (from the EMM website):

99% of all homes in the U.S. have at least one TV—50% have three or more.
68% of all 8- to 18-year olds have a TV in their bedroom and 49% have a video game player there as well.
Children spend nearly 2,000 hours a year in front of a TV, playing on the computer, and playing video games. They only spend 900 hours in school!
200,000 violent acts, including 16,000 murders, will be seen on TV by a child before their 18th birthday.
A person watches TV an average of 40 days per year. This is not to say they watch TV 40 days out of the year; rather, the time they spend watching TV each year is equivalent to 40 days! Think of it, if we stopped watching TV all together, we would have an extra 40 days each year to do things that are important to us.

I’m not one of those people that think TV is evil. Honestly, I like TV. Sometimes I need a brain-numbing activity that requires no action on my part. I just happen to think that most of us could stand to watch a little less.

Take action today. Start watching less TV, and add time to your life:

Turn off your TV today. Tape the “No TV” sign to all TV screens so that you don’t turn it on out of habit.
Designate certain TV-free times throughout the week to reduce viewing hours.
Remove TVs from bedrooms, the kitchen, etc.
Make a list of activities to do besides watching TV―activities like reading, biking, swimming, walking, gardening, or socializing with friends. Then start doing them.
Avoid using TV as a reward―this only increases its power.
Be more selective about programming―choose history, travel, cooking, home repair/design, and other educational themes.

The best thing that has worked for me is to choose the programs I want to watch. I like to watch BBC World News, the Sunday morning news programs, Desperate Housewives, Brothers and Sisters, Army Wives and the occasional Gilmore Girls rerun. So that’s what I watch. Other than that, I try to keep the TV turned off. If you're sitting in front of the television, flipping through channels, trying to find something to watch - give it up. If you don't have anything specific you want to watch, that's a good indication you're wasting time, and there's something better you could be doing.

I also like the idea of choosing one day a week to not watch TV at all. That will be easy for me right now, so I’ll put that into practice. Though, Steven is out of town, and this will be harder when he’s home. He watches more TV than I do. But we’ll have to give it a try when he gets back and see how that goes.

So how about you? How much TV would you be willing to give up? Or do you already limit your time in front of the tube?

The Other Boleyn Girl - The Movie

2009-10-07T08:00:00.000-07:00

I was so excited about the book, I went out and rented the movie The Other Boleyn Girl. Sorry to say, I was highly disappointed! By itself, I think the movie may actually have been decent to watch. Having just read the book and actually remembering it's contents, the movie was an upset.

Here's why: the author of the book, Philippa Gregory holds herself to a very high standard when it comes to writing the historical aspects of her novels. Of course, the conversations and feelings exuded by the characters are all fiction (who is she to know what someone was thinking or saying in the 15th century?), but the basic shell of the plot - the history - that part is as factual as possible. The movie, on the other hand, murdered the history in an attempt to fit a whole lot of years in a comparatively small frame. (The average screenplay is 120 pages, compared to this book, which was almost 700.) I thought perhaps the movie would only show a slice of the book, but they attempted to show the entire book - which spanned a decade or so. Yet, somehow the characters never aged. Or rather, they were never young - they started out older. Even though Mary was 12 years old when she married William Carey, Scarlett Johansen played her at her current age (in her 20's!). The portrayal of the characters was also completely off kilter. There wasn't one character in the movie that kept in sync with the way the character was portrayed in the book. This was so blatant, I almost thought perhaps the movie was not based on the book and they just happened to have the same name. Sadly, no. The movie was based on the book (I looked it up).

If you want my opinion - skip the movie, and read the book instead. In the book, the characters are far more engaging and the history is far more accurate.

Sleep Deprivation for Better Sleep?

2009-10-06T11:21:00.000-07:00

Here's the thing: for years, I've had trouble sleeping.

I never have trouble falling asleep, as I'm always tired. But once I've slept a couple of hours, my body starts to wake up. I toss and turn. I notice a light in the other room, a cat meowing outside, a squirrel running across the roof. I notice everything. I still feel exhausted, so I stay in bed a few more hours until the alarm clock rears its ugly head and I'm forced to drag myself out of bed. Within a few hours of waking, no matter how long I managed to 'sleep', I always feel tired again. It's a vicious circle.

So I was talking to a coworker about this yesterday - how I never seem to get enough sleep, how I seem to need at least nine hours a night to really feel rested. She said to me, "Are you a light sleeper?" Um, yes, I suppose I am. She went on, "I'm a really heavy sleeper. Once I'm out, nothing wakes me up. And I only need about 6 or 7 hours of sleep to feel rested." Well aren't you lucky!

I thought about her comment for a bit and decided I'm going to dive in and find a way to sleep 'deeper'. Perhaps if my sleep is more restful, I'll actually feel rested in the morning.

Now, I'm on a quest. I'm reading about meditation, sleep inducing foods, stress relief yoga, relaxation techniques - pretty much everything. I'll be trying some of these techniques over the next several weeks (maybe months), and I'll keep you updated with how it goes.

For my first technique, I'm trying something recommended by a doctor friend of mine. She said my body is in the habit of poor sleep. I need to retrain my body to view sleep as something that is fully restful, not something that includes tossing and turning.

Here's how she said to do this:

For two weeks, restrict your sleeping to only 5-6 hours per night (no longer). You'll be exhausted, and your body will rest heavy during those 5-6 hours.
After the two weeks is up, your body will start to associate sleep with a deep rest. At this point, start adding time to your sleep schedule in 15 minute increments.
Once you've reached the amount of sleep time when your body maintains a restful sleep, you wake feeling rested and you're not tired during the day, your body will have adjusted to sleeping more fully. Then you will know the number of hours of sleep that work best for you, and you'll be in the habit of sleeping well.

Sounds a little crazy - but at this point, I'm willing to try it. I'll check back in two weeks or so and let you know how this one goes.

How about you? What are your secrets for a good night's sleep?

Every Monday Matters: What Matters Most to You?

2009-10-05T11:22:00.000-07:00

I hope you all had a wonderful weekend and are facing Monday with a smile! Okay, so I'm facing Monday with dark circles under my eyes and a half smile, half scowl. So sue me. I find it difficult to crawl out of bed with enthusiasm at an ungodly hour and force myself to return to the dreaded office - especially after an enjoyable weekend.

Whew - glad I got that off my chest! Now that I've unleashed the beast, I'm ready to shake those Monday morning blues and turn the day into something special.

This brings me to Week 2 of Every Monday Matters. This week, let's focus on what matters most to each of us (adapted from the Every Monday Matters website).

On average, each of us spends:

100 hours a year commuting to work (compare that to just 80 hours a year of vacation time)
91 hours a week at work for dual-career couples with kids under 18
1.8 hours a day doing household activities
2.6 hours a day watching TV

Now consider this: what would you rather be doing? Time is a non-renewable resource. Once it's used, you can't get it back.

Here are some actions you can take today to start using your time in ways that matter to you:

Stop and think - then make a list of What Matters Most to you. (If you find this difficult, check out this website for some inspiration.)
Create a list of how you currently spend your time each week.
Organize your list of weekly activities and identify activities that are required and those that are optional or waste time.
Take steps to rearrange your schedule or reduce the optional activities so you can spend time doing What Matters Most.

So far, I've completed my list of what matters most to me. In the spirit of sharing, here's what I came up with (I tried to rank them from most to least important - but that was tough. Honestly, a lot are tied.):

Being true to myself
Maintaining a strong relationship with Steven
Maintaining close, supportive friendships and family relationships
Being active
Learning
Travel
Writing
Art: drawing, painting, anything creative
Making a difference/helping others
Meaningful work
Free time/relaxing
Nature/spending time outdoors
Adventure

Now it's your turn. Start off your week by committing yourself to make a difference in you, your life and the lives of those you love. What matters most to you?

The Other Boleyn Girl

2009-10-02T09:13:00.000-07:00

I figure I’m about due for a book review – it’s been a while! I just finished reading The Other Boleyn Girl by Philippa Gregory. And I’m still thinking about the story. This was a great book, a compelling story woven amongst the history of the English monarchy. I highly recommend it.

I’d seen this book around a few times on store shelves and always thought it looked intriguing. But I never got around to picking it up. Then, I saw a review about it on some website (wish I could remember which, but honestly, I can’t). Anyhow, it was a glowing review, and I figured I was up for some reading in a new genre (I’d been reading so many mysteries; I needed a break). What I thought would be an interesting story about England in the 1500’s ended up being a riveting story about sex, love and the plight of women during a dark time.

Mary, the sister of Anne Boleyn, tells the story of the rise and fall of her family. Married to a much older man at 12, Mary’s family forced her to court King Henry the VIII at age 14. She bore him two illegitimate children but was later pushed aside as the King’s favorite by her sister, Anne.

This story really makes you reconsider all those times in childhood when you pranced around in a pretty dress and declared yourself a princess. Princess be damned – that’s the last life I would want to lead! The use of women and girls as pawns in a high stakes game of chess and viewing them as property – no thank you! The peasants may have been poor, but they just may have had the better lot in life.

The book was also made into a movie of the same name released in 2008 starring Natalie Portman. I haven’t seen the movie yet, but definitely plan to. I’ll let you know what I think!

So go ahead – pick up a copy of the book. You won’t be sorry.

Blog Action Day 2009

2009-09-30T10:12:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I heard about a really great event called Blog Action Day.

Blog Action Day (B.A.D.) is an annual event that unites the world’s bloggers in posting about the same issue on the same day on their own blogs. The purpose of B.A.D. is to create a discussion. By focusing on a single topic on the same day, the blogging community effectively changes the conversation on the web. Audiences around the globe focus on that issue. Out of that discussion flows ideas, advice, plans and action.

What a fun, creative idea!

Blog Action Day 2009 will be on October 15. The topic will be Climate Change.

I’ll be participating this year. I encourage you to join me. If you have a blog, register to participate at the B.A.D. website. If you don’t, email me your thoughts about climate change, and I’ll post your musing on my blog!

From the smallest online journals to huge online magazines, Blog Action Day is about mass participation. Anyone is free to join in, and there is no limit on the number of posts, the type of posts or the direction of thoughts and opinions.

The first B.A.D. in 2007 involved over 20,000 bloggers. 2008 had even more. Let’s make this year the biggest yet!

A Weekend for Words

2009-09-29T09:57:00.000-07:00

I just spent a phenomenal weekend at the Southern California Writers’ Conference. The experience was inspiring! I had a blast meeting other writers, listening to speakers and learning from the workshops.

I signed up for a special track of the conference, the Novel Cram workshop. Novel Cram was taught by Drusilla Campbell, a published author of sixteen novels. The idea of Novel Cram was to teach a newbie, like me, the basics of the novel – important aspects of plotting, developing narrative drive, characterization, etc. The majority of my time at the conference was spent with my small group in Novel Cram. At first, I wondered if I was making the right decision. By signing up for Novel Cram, I was forfeiting the other amazing workshop options. Now that it’s over, I can honestly say I made the absolute right decision. I learned so much and made a great start mapping out my next writing project. Not to mention, I had an epiphany regarding the problems I’ve been having with my current project. I figured out exactly what I need to rewrite in order to develop that ever so mysterious narrative drive.

My mind is overflowing with ideas, and I wish I could run home right now and start typing. If only that darn ‘work thing’ would stop getting in the way of my creativity.

Another thing I thoroughly enjoyed about the workshop was meeting other writers. These people were authentically nice and actually supportive. I’ve been in so many other environments where that is not the case, and this was a refreshing change (this was my first conference, and I wasn’t sure what to expect). I was worried I wouldn’t be taken seriously. I mean, there I was – I’m working on my first novel, and I’ve never been published. Would they think I was just another wannabe writer? Absolutely not! They asked about my novel, they listened, they were interested. Before this conference, I didn’t know any other writers. Now I have a whole group of writer friends.

Now that’s a good thing.

Every Monday Matters: Be the Match

2009-09-28T10:33:00.000-07:00

Happy Monday! As my first official project for Every Monday Matters, I’m asking you to consider registering for the National Bone Marrow Donor Program. I recently made the decision to do this and will be sending in my testing packet tonight to officially join the Be the Match registry.

Thousands of patients every year hope to find a suitable donor to make their life saving bone marrow transplant possible. If a patient does not have a family member who is a match, their doctor can contact the National Bone Marrow Donor program to search for a suitable donor. The more people join the Be the Match registry, the more lives can be saved. It’s that simple.

Please go to the Be the Match website, and read about joining the registry.

Honestly, when I first considered joining the registry, I was nervous. What if I was a match for someone and they actually asked me to do this? Would it be painful? Would it be a difficult procedure? I read through a lot of information. The procedures didn’t seem difficult, especially when considering they could save a life. But still, I stalled. I put the idea to the back of my mind and decided I would think about it later. A year passed. Then I read two stories about people searching for bone marrow donors. These stories solidified my decision to join the registry. I completed the online registration and requested my testing packet the same day.

The first story was of a boy named Hunter who was born with leukemia. Hunter was four years old and fighting for his life. He had undergone chemotherapy and a number of procedures to treat the leukemia. He responded well to the treatment, but the doctor’s said his body could not handle even one more chemo treatment. Hunter desperately needed a bone marrow transplant. The problem was that Hunter is part Cherokee Indian, Asian-American and African-American. This was not a common mix and made it difficult to find a suitable donor for him. After reviewing six million potential donors, the doctors couldn’t find one match. They are now trying umbilical cord blood, a promising procedure, though not as likely to work as well as a bone marrow transplant would have.

The second story I read was of a man named Nick, recently diagnosed with Acute Myelogenous Leukemia (AML). He underwent two rounds of chemo treatment, but they did not work to put his cancer in remission. He needs a bone marrow transplant to save his life. Again, his ethnic background limits his chances of finding a donor – he is part Asian-American, part Caucasian. In fact, because of his ethnic background, Nick’s doctors at Stanford told him there is a zero percent chance of finding a suitable donor.

These stories are just two of many, many stories. There is a desperate need for minorities and mixed race individuals to register as potential bone marrow donors. There are simply not enough registrants to meet the need. Although far more Caucasian donors are registered, there is still a great need for more.

In making my decision to join, I thought to myself what if this were my niece or nephew, my family or my loved one? I would do anything I could to help them. But what if I couldn’t be their match? I would hope and pray every day a stranger would offer to help. The beautiful thing is – we all have the ability to be that stranger.

Registering with Be the Match is seriously easy. Simply visit the Be the Match website, and complete the online registration. They will ask you a few questions about yourself and your health history. The organization will mail you a testing kit (the kit is free, but you do have the option to donate to help offset the cost of testing). Once you get the kit, swab the inside of your cheek to complete the lab test, and mail it back. That’s it!

I urge you to visit the Be the Match website and read more about becoming a donor. They have a lot of information about the process of donating and what your commitment would be if you decide to join. If you are pregnant, you can also learn about donating umbilical cord blood – another life saving measure.

If you register, Be the Match may never contact you to donate. But if they do, you could save a life.

I'll Be Back

2009-09-24T16:48:00.000-07:00

Hey There, My Fabulous Reader,

It's been a whirlwind of a week. I'm off for a long weekend at the Southern California Writers' Conference. It should be fun and full of great tidbits to help my writing go the extra mile. I can't wait to share my experience with you! I'll be back to blogging bright and early on Monday morning. After all, Every Monday Matters.

Enjoy your weekend - make it something amazing!

Heather

Destination: Peru

2009-09-22T10:07:00.000-07:00

Since watching the movie Medicine Man in the eighth grade, I’ve wanted to see the Amazon Rainforest. Something about this destination – rich with biodiversity, much of it untouched by man, humidity, rain, all of it – draws me in. So I’ve finally decided to make the trip.

Part of me is afraid that if I don’t go soon, we will have destroyed it (we being people: ranchers, loggers and the like). I hope that doesn’t end up being the case. Perhaps with carefully planned, sustainable ecotourism, business people in that part of the world will come to see the value of preserving the rainforest and sharing it with generations to come. But rather than delve into the political and economic implications of preserving or not preserving the land, let me tell you about my trip.

I plan to go next July. I thought about going sooner, but factoring in my schedule and the weather over there – July is the best match. I did a lot of research on the various countries which the rainforest encompasses and decided on Peru.

In my information gathering I found another amazing landmark in Peru that I absolutely can’t miss in this lifetime – Machu Picchu. Machu Picchu is The Lost City of the Incas. The Incas started building the city on a mountain ridge above the Urubamba Valley around 1430 AD. Less than a hundred years later, during the time of the Spanish conquest, most of the inhabitants were wiped out by what is now thought to have been small pox. The city was lost to the outside world. In 1911, an American historian stumbled upon this miraculous city, led by a native Quechua boy. The site was named a UNESCO World Heritage site in 1983. The first four days of my trip will be spent in and around Machu Picchu.

Then, I'll be off to the Amazon Rainforest! I plan to go with a company called Rainforest Expeditions. They run three Amazon lodges near Puerto Maldonado, Peru. The company runs environmentally conscious, sustainable ecotourism with local guides. The lodges originally started with a research project to protect the local macaw parrots. The research continues to this day.

I’ll spend the first few days at the Refugio Amazonas lodge, a few hours boat ride from Puerto Maldonado. Once there, I’ll spend time searching for camen, hiking the Brazil nut trail, taking in the view from the canopy tower and visiting Oxbow lake.

Next, it’s off to the Tambopata Research Center (TRC), 4.5 hours downriver. TRC is in the heart of the rainforest, more than seven hours by boat from the nearest town. It is rife with flora and fauna and is near the largest macaw clay lick in the world. I’ll spend my days hiking, checking out the palm swamp, the floodplains, bird watching and looking out for the local animals (monkeys, camen and the like).

The trip is going to be fabulous, and I absolutely can’t wait! I’m planning on taking this one solo, but if anyone is interested in tagging along, I’m always up for a good travel partner! Drop me a line.

Every Monday Matters

2009-09-21T12:37:00.000-07:00

"Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does." - William James

Get ready for Mondays - they're going to be phenomenal!

I stumbled upon a big idea, and I've decided to make it a regular part of my blog. It's a movement called Every Monday Matters. The idea came from a book written by Matthew Emerzian and Kelly Bozza. The authors believe that the plain, simple, ordinary individual, either acting alone or together with others, can change the world. The book takes 52 Mondays and gives you 52 creative but do-able activities to do every Monday that have a a positive impact on the world.

Monday (until now) has been my least favorite day of the week. After all, it's the day that ends the weekend, the day I go back to work, the day the rat race begins again. But what if Monday meant something amazing? What if there were a reason to look forward to Monday?

By following the Every Monday Matters movement, I hope to change the face of Monday and make it an inspiring, meaningful, fun day!

Each Monday for the next 52 weeks, I will post the Every Monday Matters exercise and let you know my experience with the week's activity. I hope that you will join me by taking part in the activities as well.

Make your Mondays matter, and do something meaningful! Join me next Monday (September 28) as I tackle week 1 of Every Monday Matters. I'll be taking a look at what matters most to me.

See you then!

"I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do." - Edward Everett Hale

Do Work That Inspires You

2009-09-17T09:16:00.000-07:00

In need of some inspiration to keep searching for that passion of yours? Jonathon Mead, contributor to Zen Habits, believes the world needs you to do what you love. Click here and find out why!

Top Five Things I Miss About Being a Kid

2009-09-16T09:30:00.000-07:00

Riding my bike to work this morning, I saw a few kids playing on a playground. As I watched them running, jumping and swinging, I found myself feeling a bit nostalgic. Man, I miss being a kid! Those were the days - the days when chores were a big responsibility, when a friend's slight equaled big drama and we had all the time in the world. Here are the top five things I miss about being a kid:

Remember when naps were mandatory? My kindergarten class actually had nap time. We would pull out the blue mats, turn the lights out and go to sleep - right in the middle of the day. And when we were at home, our parents were ecstatic when we wore ourselves out with play and conked out on the living room floor. When did we stop celebrating nap time and actually start discouraging it? I miss my midday naps.

Make Believe. We were so creative when we were kids. Few things inhibited us from dreaming up magic, playing house, performing plays, writing stories, painting landscapes (selling our art to the highest bidder) and coming up with all sorts of crazy, out-of-this-world roll play games. If we weren't happy with our present world, we simply chose to live in another one - one conjured up by our own imaginations. I'm quite sure if I did that now, I would soon be checked in to the psych ward. Such a bummer.

"Playing" was exercise. These days, I go out of my way to make sure I fit exercise into my daily routine. But wasn't it great when you didn't have to think about exercise - when going out to play was all the physical activity you would ever need. I grew up in a small town, so we literally walked everywhere - or rode our bikes everywhere. We played tag, jumped rope, played hopscotch, four-square and tether ball. When was the last time you got a workout in by going outside and playing freeze-tag with your friends?
I seriously miss summer vacation. The idea of working nine months out of the year and getting three months off during the warmest, lazy days of summer - well, it's fabulous. Need I say more?
Everyone was so old. Every person I met that was out of high school seemed ancient. They were old, and I was young - and most importantly, I had all the time in the world. Dreams seemed so big because I couldn't imagine ever being old enough to accomplish them. Hence, I could try everything and see what stuck. I had time to fail and make a comeback. Certainly, I had time to accomplish every single dream I ever had.

How about you? What do you miss most about being a kid?

“Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.” - Paula Poundstone

Empowering Women

2009-09-15T11:30:00.000-07:00

Happy Tuesday! The week is moving forward, and I’m filling my mind with exciting ideas and inspiration. So, tell me, what's inspiring you these days?

Here’s an idea that’s been motivating me: I want to develop a project (in addition to my writing) that is aimed at empowering women to live life authentically.

In my quest for genuine happiness, I’ve realized something – I am most definitely not alone. I meet amazing women every day who are just like me. They did everything right – some went to college, some got married, some had children, some have influential careers (some did other things that escape me at the moment). These are amazing, remarkable, complicated, accomplished, talented women. Yet, surrounded by all these fantastic people and things, they still feel something is missing. So many women are out there, just like me, in search of squid.

I want to empower women to learn more about whom they are, determine what they want for their lives and move in positive directions that bring authenticity and happiness.

I don’t yet know exactly how I will do this. Perhaps the project will involve a meetup group, an online community, a workshop series, a book, a retreat or some other brilliant (yet undiscovered) idea. I plan to sit down in the near future for some brainstorming and a hashing out of ideas. Maybe I’ll invite a few friends in similar situations, and we’ll make a day of it.

What kind of project do you feel would bring something positive and helpful to the picture? I would love your input and ideas!

"The best change often starts as a single, simple thought.

Think big, and discover the ways to make your dreams real."

- unknown

Redefining Small Talk

2009-09-14T09:28:00.000-07:00

I attended a wedding this weekend where I didn’t know any of the guests. (The bride is a friend of mine from grad school, and she looked absolutely gorgeous.) Steven and I were supposed to go together, but he ended up being sent to Kentucky for that final signing out of the Army (Yeah – almost time to celebrate!). Anyhow, I still wanted to support my friend, so I went solo.

I spent the evening making small talk with strangers.

What are the questions people ask when they are being polite and just getting to know you: First, how do you know the bride/groom? This question is understandable and certainly something anyone would ask at a wedding. Second, every single person asked – what do you do for a living? And then the conversation would turn to them asking me all sorts of questions about my work. I tried to express that I wasn’t too interested in discussing my job. I said things like, “really, it’s not that interesting” or “really, I’m just a bean counter. My job is pretty boring”. Despite my obvious disinterest, I ended up spending the evening discussing the drudgery of my day to day work.

And this got me thinking…

Why is our culture so intent on defining people by their work? Think about it. What questions do you ask when getting to know someone? When you meet a person at a cocktail party, a friend’s house or a totally random gathering – what is one of the first things you ask them? That’s right – you ask them about their job. A friend of mine from Serbia pointed this out to me. When he moved to the U.S. he found it odd that all the people he met seemed so interested in the type of work he did, as if knowing what he did for a living somehow defined him.

While being asked this question over and over this weekend, I found myself wanting to say, “Hey, I’m so much more interesting than my job. Ask me something else – anything else!”

So here’s my suggestion: let’s start a new trend!

I suggest that when we first meet a new person, we all make an effort to find out something interesting about them. By all means, if their work is their passion, invite them to talk about it. But if it’s not, move on to something else. Realize that people are passionate and enthusiastic about all kinds of things. And you’ll never know what those things are – unless, of course, you ask.

What Would You Take?

2009-09-10T08:00:00.000-07:00

A coworker of mine had to evacuate her home last week during the worst of the fires. Her and her husband loaded up their car with the items they wanted to save (in case the worst happened) and headed off to a friend's home. My coworker's house wasn't damaged, but this got me thinking. Here is my question for the day:

If you had 15 minutes to evacuate your home before it was to be destroyed by a fire, what 10 things would you grab (not including people or pets)?

Here's what I would take:

My laptop. It is my connection to the outside world and also holds all of my writing and pictures. I absolutely LOVE pictures, as I think they are the best way to rekindle memories. I certainly wouldn’t want to lose my writing, as that is how I plan to make a living one day.
Speaking of pictures, I would have to take my photo albums. If taking my photo albums would count as more than one item, I would put all my photo albums in my big scrapbooking box, and then I would take my scrapbooking box. That solves that problem.
I made a book of notes that Steven and I have written to eachother over the years. This book would be one of the first things in the car. We've written some pretty amazing letters to each other, and I would never want to lose those.
Earlier this year, I was admiring a painting my grandma did of a white rose. She had it hanging above the fireplace at her house. She took it off the wall, and told me to take it home. I love the painting and the fact that it reminds me of her. I would take it!
My wedding dress.
It’s seems obvious, and I don’t think it should even count against my top ten, but just in case, I would bring my purse. It contains my credit cards, iPod and cell phone – all things I would need after a fire destroyed my home.
My Idea Book. About two years ago, I started keeping a book filled with all the ideas that come to my mind. The idea might be to write a book, take a certain trip, start a business, design my wedding announcements...whatever. Every so often I read through it and remind myself of all the things I want to do. When I'm in the mood, I take out the book and start making plans. It's totally fun and uplifting!
Our flat screen television. This one has nothing sentimental attached to it. I just happen to like it, and I think Steven would appreciate us still having a TV.
My art supplies.
My camera. Again, I LOVE pictures.

So there's my top ten list. The funny thing is, I actually had a hard time coming up with ten items. I guess, when it really comes down to it, the things that matter most are the people (and pets!). As long as Steven and I are safe, that's all I really care about.

You also might notice that I forgot to bring clothes with me. It's a good thing I'll have that wedding dress to wear.

Health Care is a Human Right

2009-09-09T08:00:00.000-07:00

I am passionate about the right of individuals to receive adequate health care and the need for our country to do more to protect the health of those who live here. I personally feel it is a shame that of all the industrialized countries in the world, we are the only one not providing universal health care. Considering the wealth of our nation and the fact that we spend more money per capita on health care than any other, this is a travesty.

We can and we must do better.

The following is a statement written to Congress by an organization I support, Physicians for Human Rights.

"As Congress considers legislation to reform our health care system, it is vital that any reforms be based on respect for human rights. The Universal Declaration of Human Rights specifically lists adequate medical care as a human right. The current US health care system falls disturbingly short of fully respecting the human right of its citizens. Lack of access to quality health care in many rural and urban locations, large numbers of uninsured, significant disparities between races in the delivery of care, and efforts to deny care to undocumented workers are all morally untenable. It is unconscionable that these injustices take place in such a wealthy nation. They represent serious human rights violations that any reform process must urgently address.

As you consider the specifics of any bill that comes before the Congress, I urge you ensure that each proposal conforms to principles derived from the internationally recognized right to health. There are many possible ways to effectively reform the US health care system, but under any system the US government has an obligation to ensure that health services are available, accessible, acceptable, and of good quality for all people. The government must undertake to prohibit and eliminate racial disparities in health care delivery. Health care should be culturally and linguistically appropriate and communities, especially vulnerable groups, should participate in the development and monitoring of systems that are responsive to their needs. The government also has an obligation to refrain from denying access to health care for any persons, including prisoners or detainees, minorities, asylum seekers, and illegal immigrants.

Don't let political partisanship and narrow interests derail reforms that are so clearly needed for our nation's future. Human rights considerations, not only financial and political concerns, must be placed at the heart of the reform process. If legislation is crafted with this framework in mind it will move the United States forward toward a more equitable and morally responsible health care system."

I sent a copy of this letter to my my senators and representative. If you agree, I urge you to do the same. Physicians for Human Rights (PHR) has made it easy. Please click here to send a copy of this letter to your representatives. PHR will assist you in sending the letter.

Writing, Educating and Entertaining

2009-09-08T10:45:00.000-07:00

I’ve been tossing an idea around for a few weeks, and I think I’ve hashed out one of my upcoming writing projects. Since I launched this website as a way to share with you my own search for squid, I thought this would be a good time to do just that.

In a previous post, I talked about reading the book The Friday Night Knitting Club. I mentioned in the post that the book had a story that revolved around ovarian cancer, which in turn reminded me to make my annual appointment with my doctor. This got me thinking.

When I was in grad school, we talked about a form of education called edutainment. The idea being to educate people at the same time they are being entertained. Rather than asking a person to sit through a workshop or read educational material, slip health messages into programs she is already tuned into. For example, include information about STD prevention among teens in an episode of ER; or develop a storyline about heart disease for a soap opera. You get the picture. People watch their favorite shows and listen to their favorite radio programs because they want to be entertained. If they receive accurate and important health information in the process, even better.

Reading The Friday Night Knitting Club brought this idea to mind. And I thought; why not incorporate health promotion information in a novel? It’s the perfect medium, really. Novels are long format, so there would be plenty of space to develop a character and tell the story of someone dealing with a health issue. Because of the length, the story doesn’t need to be forced or hokey. And it can be a part of the main plot or just a subplot. The ultimate goal here would be to tell a story that would interest the reader. (Heck, if no one read my book that would negate the purpose.)

I think it can be done, and I think it can be done well.

I developed one such story idea for a women's fiction novel, and I think it’s a fun story! I plan to map out the plot and use this for my NaNoWriMo whirlwind book writing attempt in November. Stay tuned - I look forward to sharing my progress with you as I get closer to the project.

My Favorite Things

2009-09-07T08:00:00.000-07:00

I normally wouldn't be excited about a Monday, but this one is special. It's a holiday - and I sure do love a good holiday! Happy Labor Day, everyone. You've worked hard all year and deserve a day of appreciation. (Actually, you probably deserve a heck of a lot more than that, but this is what you get.) I hope you have something fabulous planned with someone (or many someones) equally fabulous. What are you doing with your day off?

I plan to spend the day relaxing and catching up on things I've wanted to do but haven't had time for. First, there's a book chapter I promised myself I would finish writing (I'm totally on track to finish by my October 31 deadline!). I'm working on revising my bucket list - making sure each of my goals are specific and measurable. Plus, I think I might add a few fun things to the list. Hopefully I'll have time to do some sketches. I plan to personalize this web page in the coming year, and I have a great idea for a pink squid logo.

But first, I'm starting the day off with a great workout. I'm a bit of a home fitness guru (seriously, I have an entire shelf of fitness DVDs). So I thought I'd share with you my absolute favorite (in case you're looking for something new). It's a DVD set call The Bar Method - a no impact, ballet based routine that gets your heart pumping yet is totally gentle. The Bar Method's signature deep muscle toning will seriously have you wondering where those muscles came from. The workouts are each 45 minutes (there are two in the set), which for me is a little long. But the time flies (and I don't say that lightly - I normally won't do a DVD that's more than 20 minutes). Your muscles will burn, and you'll be begging to stop. But when it is over, you'll wonder what you were whining about. If you want to get your bootie in shape and get long, lean muscles - The Bar Method is the way to go. These two DVDs are honestly my all time favorites. Stop by your local libary, you may be able to check them out. And let me know what you think if you do!

Enjoy your day!

Breast Cancer: What You Can Do to Protect Yourself

2009-09-06T08:00:00.000-07:00

Hey ladies,
It's a new week, and I suggest you start by doing something good for you! I just read a great article about steps you can take to reduce your risk of breast cancer. Check the link below (from a great site that empowers women to own their pink), and take the steps to protect yourself today!

Breast Cancer Risk Reduction: What You Can Do To Protect Yourself | OwningPink

Here's to a great week!

Girlfriend Getaway

2009-09-04T08:00:00.000-07:00

Carrie and Christy needed to get away from it all, so they headed over to Los Angeles for some fun in the sun (and to visit me)! I welcomed them to L.A. with hugs, some of the hottest weather of the year and raging wildfires.

From the airport, we headed straight to the Getty Center. (I wanted to prove that L.A. does, in fact, have culture.) We drove in circles for a while as I attempted to chat with the girls, watch the road and listen to the GPS. I’m pretty good at doing two things at a time. Three? Not so much. I can drive and talk or drive and listen – but put all three together, and well…the GPS lost most of the time. After a lovely tour of Inglewood and some other pleasant areas in L.A., I finally managed to figure out where we were going. At the Getty, we saw some art, took in the amazing views (complete with added fire-smog) and strolled the gardens.

I made the girls starve because we were supposed to meet Steven for lunch. By the time we got back to Pasadena, Steven forgot and already ate. But we made him come to the Novel Cafe and watch us eat anyhow.

That evening we headed out to Malibu to watch the sunset from a beautiful beach. Chloe Sue (the GPS) helped us avoid rush hour traffic. Translation: she sent us all around town and managed to make what would have been an hour and half drive (traffic included) turn into a two and a half hour drive. But hey, we never hit traffic, right? Of course, we also never made it to the beach for that sunset. Christy did take some lovely pictures through the car windows as the sun crept below the horizon. Luckily, we happened upon a cute 50’s diner at the Malibu pier, and thanks to Carrie’s ability to carry cash, they allowed us to park.

Saturday was hot, hot, hot. Instead of the planned Runyon Canyon hike (with no shade), we were off to Santa Monica. We clowned around on the pier, wandered the Third Street Promenade and did some shopping (Christy made an emergency curtain purchase). Since it was so fun the day before, we decided again to starve and wait until we got back to Pasadena to eat. We had lunch at an Italian restaurant in Old Town called Mia Piace. Yes, it was worth the wait. Yum-O. (Carrie even made us stay extra to ensure we received our second order of bread.)

That night, we headed to the Pantages Theater in Hollywood to see Legally Blonde the musical. Seriously, what’s a girl’s getaway without an overdose of pink? The show was fab-u-lous. I laughed the whole time and couldn’t stop uttering, “Omigod you guys!”

Then, suddenly, it was Sunday. Was the end of the weekend already here? We had planned a classy brunch at my house (complete with mushroom frittata, French toast, warm bagels and fresh juice) and a tour through one of the stunning botanical gardens nearby. However, Pasadena totally smoked us out. We opted instead for lunch at the Beverly Center, house hunting in Beverly Hills (scary realtor an extra perk) and shopping on Rodeo Drive. (I may have insulted the jeweler at Tiffany's by exclaiming his $43,000 engagement ring was tacky.)

It was fabulous, it was fun, and it was totally girlie. I can’t wait for the next trip!

Wild Wildfire

2009-09-02T08:56:00.000-07:00

After summer, most states have fall. It’s the natural progression of things. But California doesn’t have fall. California has fire season.

This year, the season has reared its ugly head early, and the mountains of my backyard are a bonfire. According to the L.A. Times, the area hasn’t burned in forty years. Apparently, there is a ton of wood to burn, and the fire has been a bear to control. The first few days, a giant mushroom cloud of smoke erupted from the Angeles National Forest, creating quite the spectacle. I took this shot from the Santa Monica Pier, about forty miles from our house.

The smoke blanketing the sky, the glowing orange sun and the taste of soot tells me the fire is close. For at least three days, I haven’t seen blue in the sky. The weather reached triple digits on most days; though the forecast calls for a few degrees cooling soon, and I hope this helps. My thoughts are with those fighting the fires.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

2009-08-31T11:27:00.000-07:00

I’m a huge Harry Potter fan. I’ve read all the books and have been avidly following the movies as they come out. A few weeks ago, Steven was very sweet to take me to the theater to see the latest, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. I’ve personally enjoyed the books more than the movies, but I still think it’s so much fun to watch the book come to life on the big screen.

The sixth movie of the series did a great job following the book. I had a lot of fun watching this one and can’t wait for the two-part finale! Perhaps its greatest downfall was exactly the fact that it followed the book so closely – at least in the beginning. J.K. Rowling usually does a stellar job of recapping what happened in the last book to make sure you’re caught up (almost too good a job, really). For some reason, she didn’t do that in this book. She jumped right into the story – and the movie followed suit. Steven hasn’t read the books, so he was totally lost. I haven’t read them in some time, so I was kind of lost also. It took me a while to figure out exactly what was going on and why. Truly, they could have cut the movie to only two hours had they just done some recap in the beginning to explain what was going on.

Once I figured out where we were, I loved it! I definitely recommend watching it. Though, maybe you should wait for the DVD – that way, you can watch the fifth movie beforehand and avert being confused once you start watching the Half-Blood Prince.

My rating: 3.75 out of 5 stars

The Friday Night Knitting Club

2009-08-26T08:00:00.000-07:00

I don’t often read books that make me want to take action. But The Friday Night Knitting Club by Kate Jacobs made me want to do two things. First, I kinda want to learn to knit. (Let’s keep that one to ourselves for the time being.) And second, as soon as I finished reading, I wanted to make an appointment with my doctor.

Let me explain.

This was the story of a group of unlikely women that came together in New York City to form a knitting club. It wasn’t intentional. It just happened. What they found was friendship – the kind many women aren’t lucky enough to experience after the last school bell rings in high school. As you follow the ups and downs of these women’s lives, the book makes you long for your own knitting club.

Key to the story was the diagnosis of the main character, Georgia, with ovarian cancer. The disease was devastating. And then I remembered – I was supposed to make an appointment with my doctor in May for my full physical. I read the last page and promptly logged in to my doctor’s web page and scheduled that appointment (Nothing like a subtle reminder to nudge you in the right direction).

A mix of Sex and the City and Steel Magnolias, this story resonates long after you put it down. If you like women’s fiction, you’ll love The Friday Night Knitting Club.

My rating: 4 out of 5 stars

NaNoWriMo

2009-08-25T09:35:00.000-07:00

November is National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). Each year, NaNoWriMo participants endeavor to start and finish an entire novel between November 1 and November 30. The idea is simple. Strive to reach 50,000 words (about 175 pages) by the end of the month. Don’t edit while you’re writing. Aim to write fast. Who cares about quality, we’re looking for quantity – and see where it takes you!

Now that’s a huge undertaking. Granted, a 175 page novel is short as novels go. But still.

Guess what? I signed up to do it this year!

This means a couple things for me. First, I will likely be a bit unsettled, disoriented, anxious, tense, bleary-eyed and heading toward insanity during the month of November. Second, I absolutely have to finish the first draft of my current book by November 1. Now, that’s what I call motivation.

Wish me luck. And look for more updates as November approaches.

The Sweetest Things

2009-08-19T11:13:00.000-07:00

I sometimes think I'm the luckiest person in the world. Steven has got to be the sweetest fiancé ever. The little things he does are so thoughtful – I just have to brag a little. (And, also, point out that the sweetest things are often the smallest and are totally free.)

Case in point: Yesterday, Steven called me at work to say he wouldn’t be able to pick me up for lunch. Instead of telling me I would need to buy my lunch, he packed a lunch and brought it to me. He made me sandwiches, packed my vegetables, put napkins in my lunch bag, brought it to me and said, “I packed you a brownie, too.” Just knowing he would go through the trouble of making sure I had a good lunch made my day. But, wait, it gets better. After work, I came home to a house full of love notes. There was a card on the coffee table, a note on my laptop, one in the bathroom, one on my pillow and even one in the refrigerator – all just to say I love you. This morning, I found two more.

I can’t stop smiling today.

Good Hair Days

2009-08-18T07:42:00.000-07:00

When I consider what I will miss most about L.A. (assuming I ever get off my duff and go), my hair stylist immediately comes to mind.

I spent my Saturday driving to Santa Monica – not for the beach or the pier, but for a hair cut. Chris, the owner of Mallow Hair Studio, is an artist with her scissors. I walk into her shop feeling rather average, and an hour later I walk out feeling like I’m starring in a shampoo commercial. She’s amazing! Every woman (or man, for that matter) needs someone who makes them feel this good.

Chris has been cutting my hair for six years. I've never been disappointed. She does exactly what I ask, makes recommendations when she thinks they're needed and never makes me feel bad for doing things like coloring my hair at home. In fact, she helps me decide what colors to choose and gives me tips to make it look professional.

My only complaint was that her studio is over an hour from my house. During the past year, I went to four different stylists in Pasadena, trying to find someone with equal skill that was closer to home. They just didn’t compare. Tail between my legs, I made my first trip back to that little Santa Monica salon last weekend. And, wow, what a difference a good hair cut makes! If you’re looking for a stylist or you’re ever in the area, I whole heartedly recommend visiting Chris at her studio. You won’t be sorry!

Honeymoon in Tehran

2009-08-17T11:24:00.000-07:00

Honeymoon in Tehran: Two Years of Love and Danger in Iran was an absorbing, enjoyable read. In the last several years, I have been particularly interested in understanding the history and culture of the Middle East, and I love to read books of first person accounts. This book served the purpose of both entertainer and educator. If you read it, you’ll walk away with a small piece of what life might be like as a middle class, Iranian woman.

This is the memoir of an American-born, Iranian journalist who moves to Iran to cover politics and culture for Time magazine. Much of her work focuses on the election of President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. While living in Iran, she falls in love, gets pregnant and gets married. Her experiences on this journey come together and form a beautiful story. Azadeh Moaveni, the author, loves Iran. She loves the culture, the family connections and the religion (or, at least, those parts that her grandmother taught her as a girl in California). At the same time, the political climate is shifting, again, to being fundamentally conservative and perhaps, intolerable. Ultimately, she must choose between living in a land she loves and raising her son under a government whose values she often questions.

Of note, I found the title of the story to be a bit misleading. With the word “danger” in the title, one might imagine there would be more danger in the story (or, at least, I did). But this is not a story of danger. There is very little of that. Rather, it is a story of love, life and compromise. In a lot of ways, Azadeh’s life in Iran is no different from my life in the U.S. In a lot of ways, her life is wildly different. Pick up a copy, check it out, and let me know what you think!

Taking Inventory

2009-08-13T11:17:00.000-07:00

The latest assignment for my creative writing class was to help me learn about myself through writing. The assignment was to create a book outline of my life; name the chapters and subchapters. After outlining my life to the present day, I outlined my future, based on the direction I want to take. What will future chapters be named? What will my accomplishments be? What goals will I reach?

The assignment was a valuable exercise. It helped me take inventory of where I’ve been and where I want to be. It also reminded me of my Bucket List and all the fun things I plan to do. In the past year, I feel like I have accomplished a lot. I’ve made genuine progress with regards to my career plans. I’ve discovered (or, rather, re-discovered) hobbies that I enjoy. Perhaps I got a bit sidetracked from the Bucket List. I have a tendency to push fun things to the side – always assuming I will have time to do them later, giving other, supposedly more important things, priority. As I move forward, I plan to change this. Fun is as important as career and, in my opinion, more essential. Without fun, how would we enjoy life?

That thought in mind, I am putting together some goals for the coming year. Why wait for New Year’s to set goals? I plan to reassess every few months or so, look at my progress and make adjustments as needed. No pressure – I only want to keep myself heading in a direction that makes me happy.
My focus for the coming year:
-- Finish writing my first book, and start looking for an agent
-- Write at least one magazine article, and submit for publication
-- Find a bicycle century to train for (I think I'll pick one that is slated for 2010 or early 2011)
-- Marry Steven, and get beautiful wedding pictures taken
-- Move away from Los Angeles
-- Plan a volunteer vacation for next summer

So those are my big items for the year. In between, I plan to get into all sorts of other trouble! Wish me luck. And if you’re interested, consider making a list of your own. It’s a great way to get moving in a positive direction!

What's Your Secret?

2009-08-11T09:30:00.000-07:00

Nobody knows that I am incredibly domestic. Well, maybe a few people do. Though, of those who are aware of my diva domesticity, they don’t know the half of it.

Truth is, I envy stay at home moms. Well, that’s not entirely honest. I’m not a mom, and I’m not ready to be one. It’s just that, when I take inventory, the things I find myself thoroughly enjoying tend to involve homemaking (shhhh…don’t tell).

I love to cook, I love to decorate, I love to clean.

Well, maybe I don’t love to clean. But I do get this entirely giddy feeling of accomplishment when I finish cleaning the house and everything looks just ‘so’.

I also crave the opportunity to decorate my house. It doesn’t have to be a big house. I’d be thrilled to decorate a one bedroom condo. I just want to decorate – choose paint colors, fabrics, furniture, accessories. The excitement, I’m telling you, it’s almost as good as chocolate, which itself, is almost as good as sex. So you see…this is good. Not a day goes by that I don’t have a thought about what I could do to make the living room cozier, the kitchen more useful, the bedroom more inviting. I have tons of ideas, and I ache for a blank canvas to work on.

And here’s a surprise (at least for anyone who knew me when I was younger) – I love to cook. I check out cookbooks from the library. I surf the internet for unique recipes. My guilty pleasure is marthastewart.com. She has yet to post a disappointing recipe.

So there you are. That’s my secret for today – I’m a domestic diva of sorts. Maybe, if I’m feeling generous, I’ll let you in on another secret next week – an even juicier one.

French Foodie Books

2009-08-10T08:56:00.000-07:00

I've been debating whether or not I liked The Sharper Your Knife, the Less You Cry. It's the memoir of a U.S. woman who, after being fired from her job in England, decided to chase a lifelong dream and enroll in cooking school at the famous Le Cordon Bleu in Paris. The story follows her on this journey. Will she succeed?

Throughout the book, there is no question that the answer is an overwhelming yes. She achieves her dream, gets the guy, and lives happily ever after. I loved the idea of the book, and parts of it were great. I just don't think the book as a whole was great. It lacked conflict. There was no point in the story when I wondered what the final outcome would be. It was a little too perfect for my taste. Nonetheless, I would say it's a decent read. If your into French food, you might really enjoy it. If you give it a try, let me know your thoughts!

When I saw Julie & Julia at the library, I was excited to read it. I had seen the trailer to the movie and thought it looked uplifting and fun. The premise to the book was great. Here's a girl that's pushing thirty, her life and career have no clear direction, and she's feeling lost. In an attempt to add meaning to a flatlining life, Julie Powell decides to cook her way through Julia Child's Mastering the Art of French Cooking in 365 days - and write a blog about it.

Sadly, though the premise was enticing, the book was not. I had to give up trying to read it after only three chapters. The story was good. Well, it could have been. It's just - the book was poorly written. Over and over, I found myself thinking, there's no way this book was edited. Does she even have an editor?

Clearly, I don't think this book is worth the read. If anyone else has read this, drop me a line. I would love to know your thoughts. Am I being too harsh?

Perhaps my palate is not ready for the french foodie genre.

Bzzzzzz

2009-08-04T21:00:00.000-07:00

Last weekend, I was doing some stretches in my living room when I happened to glance up at the patio outside. What is that next to the light fixture? I focused my eyes and looked again. Oh dear. I walked to the screen door and seconds later was in the bedroom where Steven was fast asleep. "Sweetie?" He looked up and gave me one of those, why the heck are you bothering me, looks. "I think we have a problem," I said. "There's a beehive on the patio."

Crap! Can you believe it? I mean seriously, I realize we never, ever go out there, but why, oh why did they pick my patio? Of course, I then made Steven get out of bed and knock it down immediately. He used a broom handle, knocked it to the ground and swept it off the porch. Crisis averted.

After I was sure the bees had left (which, by the way - they turned out to look more like a cross between a bumble bee and a wasp than a simple bee), I headed out to clean up. I had been planning on turning the patio into an area where I could work on my art (just never got around to it). It seemed like the perfect place to practice using those messy pastels. This was a good reason to get out there and set it up. I was sweeping up the layer of pollution that had built up over the past year, when I looked up. No freakin' way. There was another hive in the corner. I backed up, leaned through the screen into the living room and asked Steven, "If I knock it down, should I be ready to run?"

It seemed my antics provided Steven with some great entertainment for the morning. In the end, we won. The bees-things are gone. The patio is clean. And I'm ready to get started with those pastels.

The Widow's Season

2009-08-03T09:04:00.001-07:00

“Sarah McConnell’s husband had been dead three months when she saw him in the grocery store.” And so begins the latest book I finished, The Widow’s Season by Laura Brodie. The book was a surprise find, and I’m so glad I came across this gem.

I love to read mysteries, as this book is categorized, and it surely doesn’t disappoint. The author manages to bring you through the book, questioning the reality of what is happening and never quite knowing how it’s going to turn out. But more than a mystery, it’s also a beautiful character study about a woman’s journey through losing her husband and finding him again…and finding herself along the way. The emotion that is depicted is raw and real. It’s written simply and skillfully.

If you’re looking for an end of summer read, I highly recommend this book. You’ll get wrapped in with the main character’s life and find it hard to put down.

Ithaka

2009-07-31T08:46:00.000-07:00

Ithaka
C. P. Cavafy

As you set out for Ithaka
hope the voyage is a long one,
full of adventure, full of discovery.
Laistrygonians and Cyclops,
angry Poseidon – don’t be afraid of them:
you’ll never find things like that on your way
as long as you keep your thoughts raised high,
as long as rare excitement
stirs your spirit and your body.
Laistrygonians and Cyclops,
wild Poseidon – you won’t encounter them
unless you bring them along inside your soul,
unless your soul sets them up in front of you.

Hope the voyage is a long one.
May there be many a summer morning when,
with what pleasure, what joy,
you come into harbors seen for the first time;
may you stop at Phoenician trading stations
to buy fine things,
mother of pearl and coral, amber and ebony,
sensual perfume of every kind –
as many sensual perfumes as you can;
and may you visit many Egyptian cities
to gather stores of knowledge from their scholars.

Keep Ithaka always in your mind.
Arriving there is what you are destined for.
But do not hurry the journey at all.
Better if it lasts for years,
so you are old by the time you reach the island,
wealthy with all you have gained on the way,
not expecting Ithaka to make you rich.

Ithaka gave you the marvelous journey.
Without her you would not have set out.
She has nothing left to give you now.

And if you find her poor, Ithaka won’t have fooled you.
Wise as you will have become, so full of experience,
you will have understood by then what these Ithakas mean.

Translated by Edmund Keeley/Philip Sherrard

Square Pegs

2009-07-29T07:26:00.000-07:00

Do you ever think your life is one big square peg surrounded by a thousand tiny, round holes? That's me these days. Maybe it's thirty-something angst. Will my life be what I want it to be? At the end, will I look back and, like Frankie, say I did it my way?

Lately, I've had my doubts. Certainly, if it was all over today, I wouldn't be thrilled with the end result. That's not to say I don't think I have a great life. I do. I have a fabulous life. It's just not the life I would choose if given the option on a multiple choice exam. Rather, I would choose to travel, volunteer, buy a cabin by a lake or a tiny house on a little known beach. I would give up my day job and admit I really don't like doing administrative work. I would finally admit I really don't want to work in public health - even though I thought it was fun to study. I would sit in my study and write. I would sit out by the lake and write. I would go back to school - not for career advancement, but because I find it fascinating, because I love to learn. I would stop trying to be practical and that oh so grown up word - responsible. Seriously, responsibility is overrated.

Funny thing is, the life I dreamed of when I was a kid is most certainly not the life I would want to live today. I was sold on the idea of expensive things, nice suits and a stable job to make me happy. Those things don't produce happiness. I wish people would stop telling kids they do. Why make them grow up and become uncreative, underproductive and, ultimately, unhappy?

I work for a woman who insists on being referred to as Dr. Carter. Everyone knows her name is Linda. Everyone else on campus calls her Linda (practically everyone here is a doctor of some sort; we all know that, no need to reiterate the obvious). But Dr. Carter requires that everyone who works in her department call her Dr. Carter. Seriously, how self-important does a person need to feel? I wonder, at the end of her life, will she regret that after twenty-some years (probably more by then), she didn't make one friend on campus? We are all required to call her Dr. Carter. No one feels close enough to actually call her a friend.

In this country of the middle class, we are expected to reach a certain level in life, own a certain type of home, keep a certain type of job. Our parents work hard so that we can do better than they did. But what does it mean to do better than your parents? I'd say you're doing better if you're even happier than they were. But that's not the intention. It really means you should have nicer things than they did. Tell me, is a big house and a nice car worth not having the time to really get to know your kids?

Personally, I think our priorities are off kilter. And at this point in my life, I don't really care what other people think. I'm going to find my way. At the end, I will look back and say, "I did it my way."

Tell the Truth

2009-07-22T10:59:00.000-07:00

Tell the truth, tell the truth, tell the truth. That quote opens one of my favorite books – Eat, Pray, Love. It also happens to be my new mantra; though not in the way Elizabeth Gilbert necessarily means in her book. You see, I’ve been writing a lot lately (pretty much every day) and when I’m having difficulty with a paragraph or section, that phrase is exactly what I say to myself. Tell the truth, tell the truth, tell the truth. I’ve found when I’m struggling to write something – it’s not coming out the way I intend or I’m not describing something accurately – it’s usually because I’m not telling the truth (at least not in its entirety). Rather, I’m glossing over the details, smoothing out the story, trying to make it easier to write. When I stop, consider the reality rather than my glossed over version and start telling the truth, the writing flows. It’s pretty amazing how that works.

A Lot Can Happen in Nineteen Minutes

2009-07-21T14:59:00.000-07:00

I’ve been reading so much lately, I’ve barely had time to blog about it. I’m way behind! I haven’t finished talking about the last list of books I read through (mostly non-fiction), and now I’ve also got a bunch of novels I want to talk about. Where to start? Where to start?

Well, I’ll tell you about the one that’s been on my mind most recently. I just finished reading the book Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picoult. It’s a fabulous book, and I highly recommend it; though if you’re a parent, it might just freak you out. It freaked me out about my kids – and I don’t have any.

The book is about a seventeen year-old boy named Peter Houghton who is teased constantly, and the other kids in school treat him like crap. One day, he snaps. He goes to school and turns his high school into the next Columbine – shooting kids and teachers. I know, you’ve heard so much about school shootings over the years that the last thing you want to do is read about one. At least, that’s what I thought when I first started and realized what the book was about. But I kept reading, and I’m glad I did. Picoult does a great job of showing the reader how it is that a normal (actually very sweet) kid can turn into a murderer. I swear, you’ll spend half the book rooting for Peter and the other half disturbed that you’re twisted enough to root for someone who just killed ten people. Is it a cautionary tale for parents not to miss the signs of something like this in their own children? Maybe. I think, perhaps, it’s more of a cautionary tale for anyone who witnesses bullying and turns a blind eye – shrugging it off as part of growing up. Hey, kids can be mean…right? After reading this book, you’ll think twice about that statement.

And, of course, there’s a great plot twist at the end. It’s a win-win really. Happy reading!

Mushrooms

2009-07-16T09:15:00.001-07:00

I know…totally random. What am I going to tell you about mushrooms, right? Or maybe I’ve already bored you in the first two sentences, and you’re wondering if I’m actually going to make a point. Lol. Sometimes I crack myself up (sorry, I’m in one of those moods today…but it’s good). Anyhow, I just wanted to share something with you. Ready…here it is: I love mushrooms!

Ha, yes, you probably think I’ve lost my mind right about now. But I’m excited. You see, with this whole foods, plant based, eating healthy thing I’m trying to do, it’s kind of important that I actually like to eat plants. Up until a month or so ago, there were two vegetables I most certainly did not like: olives and mushrooms. Well, guess what? My taste buds have already started to change in this short time since I started eating better. I now put olives on my pizza instead of picking them off. Yesterday, I made cheese tortellini with fresh mushroom sauce – and I loved it! How exciting. I am finally starting to enjoy my veggies. Woo-hoo!

Everything I Need to Know, I Learned in Kindergarten

2009-07-13T15:30:00.001-07:00

I have been struggling to find something positive to blog about today. I generally try to keep my writing optimistic as I don’t like to bring other people down if I’m having a bad day, and who wants to listen to me whine anyway? But today, I’ve just got to get this off my chest.

My boss treats me like I’m in kindergarten.

And it’s really starting to get on my nerves! Ugh!! I most definitely was not meant to work for a micromanager (that which my boss is…for that matter, this whole darn department is). I have this belief that micromanaging people belittles them. Anyhow, instead of getting into a philosophical discussion about managing styles here – let me just give you an example of what freakin’ annoys me (maybe this will be a reminder not to do this to your own employees): she answers my damn emails!!! Most of our email comes through group email accounts, this way, if one of us is out of the office, someone else can handle a lab’s request. No problem there. So I’ll have a lab manager email me specifically (I know this because the email starts with…”Dear Heather…” OK…so everyone on the list knows the email is for me and unless I’m not in the office, they ignore it. Well, everyone except my boss. I’ll be out to lunch, due back in 20 minutes. Someone will email me asking for a report of some kind. Again, no problem. What does my boss do? Does she act like a normal human being and allow me to respond to the email when I’m back from lunch? No. First, she prints a copy of the email and puts it on my desk (hello…as if I can’t see the damn email – it’s in my inbox!). And then, she responds to the person who wrote the email: “Heather will get this report to you this afternoon before 5pm.” What the hell?!?! Does she think I’m incompetent or incapable of managing my own time or responding to my own emails? Apparently so.

I liked kindergarten when I was there. But I’ve sort of outgrown it at this point. Lol.

A Dreamer

2009-07-10T17:00:00.000-07:00

Lately I’ve been putting a lot of time and thought into what it is I want to do with my life, particularly as far as my career goes. Well, I suppose that was how this blog started, so that shouldn’t surprise you. I guess what I mean, is I’ve been making some headway in this area. And I’m pretty darn excited – not to mention, pretty scared. In the last several weeks, maybe even months, I’ve started to realize some of the things that I truly love to do. Not that I didn’t realize what I loved to do before, I’ve just always tended to make these things my hobbies. I would tell myself I couldn’t possibly make a living at that, so I’ll just do it for fun on the side. But you know what – I’m tired of that attitude! I’m tired of people telling me to be logical and choose a career with guaranteed payouts (not to mention, I sort of did that the first time around, and look at me…it didn’t exactly work!).

My friend, Carrie, inspired me a couple of weeks ago by announcing that she was quitting her job. She was going to start her own small business, work for herself and also be a homemaker, things she had always wanted to do. Her father’s illness, among other things, helped her come to this decision. She said life is too short to waste it doing things you don’t want to do.

I happen to agree with her.

So I thought…well, what do I want to do? God knows I don’t want to do what I’m currently doing. Well, lucky me, I already know what I DON”T want to do. How hard could it be to determine the opposite? Ok, so it wouldn’t be completely honest to say that I figured this out over dinner one night after a conversation with Carrie. I’ve been searching for the answer pretty steadily since that damn Science Channel show about giant squid! It’s been quite the process…I’ve made charts, read books, talked to people in different fields, taken classes. And I’ve realized that what I want to do is something I always knew I loved to do. I want to write.

Here’s the thing: I’ve always loved writing. I liked writing reports in college, I loved health communications in grad school, I like writing this blog. I come up with stories and book ideas in my mind all the time. And I think…if only I were so lucky. Ha! I AM so lucky. Why not??? I like writing fiction, I like writing non-fiction and I like writing articles. So I’ve got some plans in my head, and I’m working on it. I’m learning about how to get freelance writing gigs, and I’m doing a lot of writing at home in my free time. I signed up for a writing class to stretch those creative muscles I so often ignore. I’d like to do some freelance writing on health centered topics (magazine articles and such), and I hope to be able to publish a book eventually. I’ve got some great ideas I’m working on.

I’ve also set some goals that I am unabashedly putting out there. By next year at this time (let’s make that July 1, 2010) I’ll only be working part time. The other part of the time, I will be writing. And another year after that, I’m not working at all – well, not for someone else that is. In some way, shape or form, I will be a writer – and getting paid for it! So there we are. Those are my goals.

(Total side note: In case you aren’t up to date with what happened with those fellowships I applied to, let me fill you in. I didn’t get them. Well, one of them I wasn’t selected for. The other one had its budget cut, and they cancelled the program. It totally sucked – as they would both have been great opportunities. But, I choose not to dwell on what might have been. I’ve decided it’s all worked out for the best. Now I have time to focus on what really matters to me.)

So…I’m putting together a notebook of article ideas and such. If at any point you come across any health or wellness ideas that you think would make a great article, drop me a line or leave a comment. I'd love to hear it. Every little idea helps!

The China Study

2009-07-07T08:54:00.000-07:00

If you’re looking for a good book to read, I’ve just the thing: The China Study. I recently finished this book, and I have to say, it’s a must read! I know, the title sounds a little academic, and you prefer novels, so you’re not that interested. But the author has a great writing style that’s easy to read, and you’ll be amazed how fast you fly through the pages. The real reason I want you to read the book is because of the information that’s in it. The author is a long-time nutrition researcher with vast experience behind him in academia, government organizations, etc. His specialty is in the area of cancer prevention research, and he’s done some pretty amazing work in that arena. The man's not a quack - he's a leading researcher who's worked with some of the best universities in the country. He presents a pretty darn convincing argument for cutting animal products out of your diet – for benefits ranging from cancer, heart disease and diabetes prevention (among others). He argues that animal protein is too similar to our own protein, making it process too fast in our bodies – leaving us with a higher likelihood of getting diseases caused by out of control cell growth (ok, so there’s a lot more than that, but you’ll have to read the book for the complete breakdown). And he discusses the reasons that a whole foods, plant based diet is often not pushed from a governmental, scientific or medical level (rather, they offer a watered down version that is more ‘moderate’) – can you say lobbying and politics? All in all, this is an interesting read that will make you think twice before downing that next glass of milk, lean chicken breast or cheeseburger. At the least, skim through it and have a look – you won’t regret it!

The Lost Girls

2009-07-06T12:30:00.000-07:00

Today I stumbled upon a fantastic blog: The Lost Girls! I was having so much fun reading it, I just had to share. The blog was started by three twenty-something women that decided to ditch there jobs in New York City and spend a year traveling around the world to find themselves. I probably love the blog simply because this is something I've always wanted to do (as I ask Steven almost daily if he'd like to run away with me). If you're a twenty something reading this, and you're at all interested in a gap year - take my advice: just do it! As a thirty-something I can attest to the fact that as you get older you find more reasons and more responsibilities that keep you rooted. If you're not rooted now, run off and enjoy the world!

I myself have all kinds of future travel plans - and (barring something terrible like a plane crash that takes me out of the race) I most certainly am going to do all the traveling I intend to do! Rooted or not...this is me. I love to travel, and I love to experience different cultures. I like to think of myself as a free spirit trapped in a type-A personality! (Ack...the cognitive dissonance).

So anyway, check out the blog. And if you're looking for someone to take your next big trip with...drop me a line - I may just join you!

A Little O.C.D. Goes a Long Way...HaHa

2009-07-06T11:10:00.000-07:00

OK...I know I said I wouldn't, but I can't stop myself! Those pesky missing pictures. They are driving me and my type-A personality to the edge! So...I have started to re-insert the pictures that I so stupidly deleted a week or so ago. I'm not making them exactly as I had them before (though I kinda wish I could), but I am slowly cleaning up the mess I made. I just can't handle leaving my blog looking unfinished or glitchy. Just an FYI...for many of the pictures, rather than reinserting them all, I'm only inserting one picture. And I'm setting up that one picture so you can click on it, and it will take you to the entire album online (I love Google's Picasa by the way - you should try it!).

On another note - I've been trying to figure out the best and easiest way to keep my Project 365 updated. I've decided to upload pictures once a week and post a blog about it with a picture that links to the rest of the pics. How about Thursdays? Works for me...